Count Your Blessings

"Life is so exhausting!", I thought. Work seemed to have its own pace, slower than a freaking snail. Love life either vacant or a mess. You know those times in life where your brain and heart are totally determined to go in two opposite directions? Oh ask me more about it! The mid-twenties-crisis? Oh, ask me still more!My friends are either getting promoted, married or having kids, and I have annoying relatives asking me in their more annoying tone about my wedding plans, aarrggh!!

Then as I sat by my window sipping my cuppa, I did some soul-searching. And my day seemed brighter all of a sudden. That's because I realised that my life seems almost perfect(touch wood though). First of all, I love who 'I' am. I have a loving family who are just right for me. I have credit cards and the bill gets taken care of. I'm a Doctor and the journey to be an Attending is so far so good. I can play music, I can cook, I can write too. I have friends who I can call up to chat at 2 am because I am bored. The same friends who say 'Shut up and study' when I have my lazy days. I've been a part of a crazy gang in college. I've loved. I've had heartbreaks. I've had crushes, which I fortunately-unfortunately got over as soon as I talked to them! I've travelled to my dream destination and have made friends during the journey. I've lived alone in a new city, lived in a perfect neighbourhood, got locked out of the house at 4 am, partied hard at the most happening places, had slumber night-outs and travelled to the heart of the city for work every single day! I've known the rules and have had fun breaking them too.

So it's okay that I haven't got into post graduation 'yet'. Atleast I'm chasing my dreams and I'm almost there. I know I will be happy doing what I do at work for the rest of my life. It's totally okay that I'm 26 and single and not on a matrimonial website yet. It's okay that I don't get to put up facebook statuses like 'Thanks my dear husband' after I succeed in something. No offence but,  its fun being successful when you're single. especially when you've earned it with your sweat and blood. You're so hot and happening and you feel like the world is your playground. It's fun to guess who would be that lucky guy, who would be by you at your graduation party a couple of years from now. I'm sure it's gonna be worth the wait.

So what if life is messy at times. So what if that guy you have a crush on hardly tells you a hi. So what if that other guy, 'Mr-almost-perfect' asked you out on a date, but 'geography' won't let you go. So what if exam and its results are due. So what if everything is uncertain. How much ever scary or shitty it seems, hope for the best is all you can do. And hope is a wonderful thing. As they say, 'If you believe in miracles, you're bound to find one'. At the end of the day, the journey does matter, not just the destination.  Everything happens for a reason. And as Mom says, 'If not for sorrows, you wouldn't value joy'.

So, as long as you've got a career, a weekend life, family, friends and if you've ever had 'atleast' one guy tell you that he would fight the world to have you as his girl, you've got a life. You've got the independence to dance to your own music for some more time , until that special someone comes your way and joins in. A lot of people your age who stuck to rules are so jealous of your life right now. So if you're sailing in the same boat as I am, Count your Blessings, and Smile. You're worth it.


I have jam packed days right now and will be backpacking soon. It's gonna be an adventure sure and  I'm so looking forward to it. To Success, Fun and Love.

Cheers,
Chandana C.Shekar

A tiny flashback of my OBG postings

Disclaimer: This is just about the OBG Postings during my Internship at our hospital. No offence to other OBG people elsewhere :)

Was at a hospital today. A lady came up to me and asked, "I need to consult the Gynaecologist. Could you tell me when she would be here?". I had my college bag on and there were a group of interns or residents walking a little ahead of me. Maybe this made her think that even I belonged to that hospital. I obviously said, 'I don't know', just to get an extra question mark on her face. I didn't even know where the OBG OPD (Out Patient Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology) was.

Missed my internship at that moment. Had it been at our hospital, I would have told her anything about the Gynaecologists there. Comes when? Goes when? Yells when?, everything. Wait a sec. Maybe I wouldn't be able to tell the last one. Who knows why and when an OBG would yell!! I guess even they themselves don't know. All that the world knows is that they yell. No offence to any gynaecologists elsewhere, but in our hospital, they very much do!!

Aarrgghh!! OBG postings during internship was such a pain!!Stories of the weirdness out there used to exit every single day. They always used to be the hot topic of discussion in the Interns' common room. Come on, where else would you find an 'emergency reference' put to medicine for fever and surgery for abscess in a case of thrombophlebitis?? And to top it, make the intern run to get it done asap!! Heights!!! (For my non-medico friends, in such cases, the fever is due to the abscess and when u treat the abscess, the fever subsides on its own).

Or even, making the intern go and wake up the lab technician at 4 am to get the haemoglobin percentage of a patient with no emergency and absolutely no pallor, and then it turns out to be 10.9% (That's more than mine!).And on another day, the junior PG doesn't inform the bystanders to arrange for blood immediately for a patient with 4.2% haemoglobin, because she is waiting for the 'senior PG's orders'. Wow!!

Forget that. In surgery postings, we did reasonable monitoring for patients where things from his abdomen were so totally taken off. And here, in obg, I was made to do monitoring from 11 am to 8 pm for one single elective tubectomy case. And hey, I was not supposed to go out of the ward. The patient had gone out of the ward at 6 pm and was playing with her kid. When I called her and asked her to lie down to check her BP, she said , "I'm fine doctor. Why are you checking it so often?". Yeah right! I needed that from a patient!!

And the kich-kich that exists there? Oh, I better not talk about it! All that exists in that department in our hospital is hierarchy. Not a healthy one for sure. OBG is such a lovely subject. Just that more than half the people out there are '"kich-kich"s. Wonder how the sweet ones survive between such colleagues!

One of my friend had told me, "Until and unless you open your mouth and let those PGs there know that even you have a temper, they won't let you live in peace". That so turned out to be true. No wonder my co-interns and I were so-extra-extra-happy when we raised that "To the end of obg postings" toast when we partied the night obg postings got over. Was such a relief!

Phew!! I'd never belong there again!!

Back from the flashback,
Chandana C. Shekar

'Malegalalli Madhumagalu', A 9-hour-long, Unique, Night Play

Warning: This a lengthy review. Couldn't help it.

When "Malegalalli Madhumagalu" was being enacted at Rangayana, Mysore, I was more than excited to watch it. Had many reasons for it. It was the 700 pages Magnum Opus of our literary icon Kuvempu, was a 9 hour long night play and had heard that a lot of effort has gone into it's production. More than anything, I found it's poster very very interesting.One day, when I was driving , I passed in front of Kalamandir and saw the poster again. It had impressed me so much that I thought I should blog about it. The same day, my aunt got us tickets for the next night's show. Was more than happy. Even though I had been to Coorg and returned to Mysore just before the show, wasn't feeling a bit tired or sleepy. Just wanted to watch the play.

A 9 hour long play, under the direction of C. Basavalingaiah, music by Hamsalekha, art direction by H.K.Dwarakanath is based on the theatre adaptation of the novel, which was done by K.Y.Narayanaswamy. Set in four stages,Vanaranga, Dundukana, Puthani Vana and Rangadarshini, it actually felt as though we were in Malenadu.With 150 characters, 58 scenes, 48 songs, and 67 actors and just 5 months of production, the play starts with a ring that is lost in the Dharmasthala hundi and the story is narrated using folk forms such as arjuna jogis and koravanjis and others.

I'll be wrong if I say that there was perfection in the play. There was "more than perfection" in every minor thing.It was not just that there was a stage and the act was on it. There were characters to the right, left and even above it ( believe me they were on trees too) and hence, we audience had no option but migrate to the world they had created for us. Though this play is based on a classic, there is comedy, drama, music, love, political issues , issues between the society and the individual, the caste system then, spread of christianity, beliefs and customs and lot more in it.

The characters, oh you'll adore them. Guththi and his dog Huliya- oh huliya is the play's sweetheart. Whoever has played that part deserves a big applause. Playing a 'dog' that well is something beyond our imagination. Mukunda was my favourite. He perfectly fit into the love story hero character. (psst- he was handsome too). Aitha and Pinchalu were the cute newly married couple and played their parts well. Devaiah was amazing being the confused and escapist himself. Subbaiah hegde, I guess is some veteran actor. His display of emotions had no bounds. Was too very perfect.The Christian father and his 'beesekallu'(bicycle) was a laughter roller coaster for sure. Aithakka and her spontaneity; Ayynoru and the typical brahmin attitude he carried off so well; the pudi saabru and their horse; the mallu pandit and his mallu-kannada accent; Thimmi, Nagakka, Chinnamma and their anxiety; the depiction of the Rana; Swami Vivekananda appearing out of nowhere, that too behind and above the audience; the wild boar hunt; the potrayal of huli kallu neththi well above the trees and dawn with saambraani dhoopa and clouds; the artists getting into position in the darkness; the artificial rain, everything was more than what the audience expected. The stages were set so well against the background of trees and the like in open air, that it actually felt like we were taken to the villages of Simbhaavi, Hoovalli, Konooru, Huli kallu neththi and others.

The spontaniety in the emotions, dialogues, climbing trees as though they were experts at it, and hopping and running around of the artists very much needs appreciation. In the whole play, there was not even one single slip or one single stutter. Every character , be it in the nook of the stage also was very involved in the play and upto the mark. There was one guy who caught my attention. He had no lead role, but was doing minor roles here and there, loved the way he did it.Just that he was really good even though he had such miniscule roles. Music was at its best too. The title track and the 'hara hara' track will surely make you nod your head.

I'm not somebody who knows theatre in and out. Not a regular critic. My review is just as an ordinary audience. All of you who are like me, trust me guys, you will have the same opinion if you watch it. There were people who were as old as 60 years and more present among the audience. And when the audience were supposed to shift places to the next stage, everybody was rushing to get nice places to sit and not going out to eat anything! After the play, I spotted somebody asking the crew for a CD of the tracks in the play. Somebody else was literally running behind the person who played Huliya when he was walking away. The artists couldn't be seen because they were totally surrounded by people congratulating them. Sometimes, some artists deserve such fans I guess.

Well people, if I keep writing, I shall praise it on and on and on. So let me just tell you that, if in case you get a chance to watch this play, please do go watch it. You will surely and surely and more surely enjoy it. It was scheduled to end on the may 11th. On public demand, two more shows got added and now, three more have got added. So it's on till May 21st I guess. Heard they have plans to take it to other districts as well. Getting the tickets there is a major problem. But it's worth standing in the queue for it. The ticket is priced at only Rs.40 and that's the only bad thing about the play. The play's worth hell a lot more than that. We pay more than that for bakwaas movies like athithi tum kab jaaoge!. Name one movie which you think is the best ever. Black? or even Ben-Hur? Guys, let me tell you. This play is a lot more better than that. None of the movies and none of the stars are even comparable to this play. It's that outstanding.

Plays are supposed to be for entertainment. This one, take it from me, was nothing less than an 'experience'. Had it continued for a further nine hours, I would have loved to sit and watch it yet.

p.s.- Not a bit of exaggeration in this post.

The guy sitting there in front was the one I was talking about, who had minor roles and yet, was good.

.








The 'beesekallu' Ride

A scene from the play.










The silver lining over the blue cloths were used to depict clouds.The girl was on a hill top so was amidst the clouds at dawn

The tree-top there was Huli-kallu-neththi. That's guththi, thimmi and huliya the dog. There was another scene which was played at a spot more higher than this, but I couldn't capture it.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
A scene from the play

Cheers,

Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up thoughts #4

"When you've prayed for something with all your heart and it ain't working yet; then either you haven't given it your all or it just ain't worth it."

Chandana C. Shekar

Meri Zubaani in a newspaper :)

Okay I know that this is no Oscar moment. It's not even a high school prize winning moment. But even the smallest things in life are enjoyed right? And people like us who enjoy road-side pani puri more than exotic cuisine at a five-star, enjoy zindagi ke chote chote pal sure .I'm smiling all the while while writing this. For the first time, meri zubaani is in a newspaper!!  Well, Open up today's Bangalore Mirror , page 9. Yesterday's opinion poll and the comments followed are printed there. Spot my name there? Hmmm.. that's very much myself. :)

Well, I know I know. It's just the readers' opinion column and many get published. But well, that's my words, for the first time on a newspaper!! And first times are always a feel-good-factor :). Moreover, it feels good to see that 'Dr' before my name, at a place other than my name plate and degree certificate. The last time my writings were published in those school and college magazines, the 'Dr' wasn't there. And now, hmm..all smiles, smiles, smiles. By the way, everyone  and everything has to start somewhere right? ;-)

The editing team there have edited my post here and there (bad bad). But, It's in my words at their website at this link :)

And hey ya, I wrote at their blog too. It's on their site at this link. You guys would have read that on my blog. Feels good to be at places other than your own once in a while :-)

Awww.., feeling good,
Chandana C. Shekar

The Saga of my 'Lost and Found' Nokia

Warning : This is a lengthy one.

Okay, I'm so very glad that I could add the word 'found' after that 'lost'. It so happened that I was the owner of a Nokia N70 mobile phone. And now, I am, again. What happened in between is very obvious, I had lost it. The story goes like this. I had a nice working phone, with no complaints and no need to change to a new phone. Yet, just because it was more than a year that I had changed my phone, my mom and I felt that I can buy a new one. Just then had I fallen in love with Sony Ericsson Satio and so, bought it. Updated my new phone with the contacts and stuff from the old one and kept the nokia thingy to rest in a shelf in my room.

After a week, I wanted a snap that was clicked from my N70. I checked my shelf and couldn't find it. Now where can it go flying from there?.I guessed I must have put it into my table draw. I had wanted to do that, but wasn't sure if I had done that. I couldn't check my draw because it's lock was jammed.

There is this friend of mine, Sanjay. He had fed some softwares to that phone. There was a security software, wherein you feed a number other than your's to that software, and if any other sim card than the one you are using is inserted into it, a message will be sent to the number you already fed from this thief's number. I had done that. So I relaxed a bit, thinking that if anybody uses the phone, I shall anyways get to know. If that doesn't happen, then my phone is in my draw.

After more than a month, my friend forwarded me an sms saying a particular number is using this phone. I went to the police station and lodged a complaint. I loved my phone, and I couldn't let it go. Atleast not when I knew who was using it. This was march 31st. Dad gave the police whatever he had to too. Well, things never work otherwise you know. We got our assurance and came back.

One week passed by, and dad had paid two visits to the station. The staff there said that the complaint has been forwarded to a certain branch which takes care of such stuff and we better go there directly.

Got to know that the case file has not even been opened in that station. The inspector there gave assurance again, and told dad to call him after a couple of days. Three weeks, 2-4 calls per week, just assurance and assurance.

One day, he said that he had called that number and told them to return the phone within 30 minutes. 3 days passed and nothing happened. A friend of mine was courteous enough to let me know the name and address of the owner of that number from the phone service provider. Called up the police and told the same. They asked us itself to get more data if possible, coz they will have to go through 'formalities' if they have to do the same!!.

Two more days, and I get my phone back!!! Yippee :) .

Now time for my doubts.

Didn't the police think that that bugger would switch his phone off when they called him and told him to return the phone? They wouldn't be able to trace him because the address he had given to the phone company was fake. It made no sense.

When a common man can get details about a number from a company, why do the police have to worry about going through 'formalities' to get it?

I was telling my friends about this, and 4 of them told me either to bribe the police or get some influence soon, or forget my phone. Our system has rotten totally is it?

Major doubt about the culprit. The number is registered in a girl's name. So the police said they can't investigate it seriously and find out who it is. Since when did this 'Female sympathy' start in India? I don't see it for other things!

The person who returned the phone happened to be the brother of the girl who was using it. He said he bought it from some stranger in the bus stand. I had heard that girls are rented out at bus stands and stuff by pimps. But since when did people start selling mobiles there?

And even if that's the case, why on earth has my maid stopped coming to work abruptly? Now don't call that a co-incidence. Her previous month's salary is due in a couple of days. If she had to quit for any other reason, she would do it after that. She wouldn't let go of 1200 bucks!

Wonder if the police don't wanna waste their time on this or there is something else going on. But whatever crap thing it is, I'm happy I found my phone. Atleast they helped me a bit, and I shall have my gratitude for that!.

But I have to pay for my carelessness I guess. That bugger has deleted my snaps and I lost a few snaps clicked with a few people. Will never be able to click snaps with those people again in my life. I really regret losing them. But I wonder why he hasn't deleted my contacts list?!?.

But well, something is better than nothing . :-) Yippeee...yahooo.... I got my phone back :)

Glad to have found something lost,

Chandana C. Shekar

Wordless Wednesday #2

Eggjham time ;-)

Chandana C. Shekar

A Writer's Block

Sitting alone again, was thinking of a topic to write on

Failing to get a brainstorm, had just begun to yawn.

Why was this happening, only today, all of a sudden?

Wondered why my pen, was now not, getting into action.

Do I write about love, yet another time?

One more in the row, wouldn't actually be a crime.

Or would something else, with a lilt of comedy do?

Maybe I could write about, the circus and its crew?.

Depression and denials, were infact , not a bad idea
But I wanted something more cheerful, maybe even the Dahlia.
Maybe a wish for somebody, a friend very true
Or somebody who had already bid, a final adieu.

The tides at the sea, or the birds in the tree
Everything, but nothing, would my psyche agree.
God!, what do I pen on?, what do I do?
Maybe my mind has gone, to bamboo, to chew.


Wondering yet,
Chandana C. Shekar

Life changes so soon...

The number of pictures clicked on my (fav) Sony Ericsson Satio during,

February 2010 - 52  hmmm..

March 2010 - 410 Whoo!!

April 2010 - 13 , of which 10 belong to my mom's b'day!!

Life changes so soon!!! Pathetic!! :(

Well, for those who were not my batchmates at JSSH, here is some explaination. We were supposed to finish our internship on 15th march 2010. So the nostalgia of the 5.5 years spent together hit all of us sometime during late january. So, all the parties and get-togethers increased and spending time with everyone was at the peak durin late feb and march. Duty doctors' room was the fav hang out and writing out slam books was the most important job. Graduation, final parties, farewells, drives, movie nights, my b'day what not!!And every moment was a photo oppurtunity. March was an amazing time. April ? Well, I was at home, jobless!! Miss my internship. Miss the 04-05 batch, big time!!

Chandana C. Shekar

A conversation #2

I luckily happen to know a 'package' called Dr.Ashwini Shenoy . She was my senior at our hospital. Now that her exams are just around the corner, madam seems to be on a forward-sms-sending-spree. This one here was a conversation sms-sms again.

              On 24/04/10, @ 1:30am,

She: "Sometimes, we struggle through the bitter coffee till the last sip, only to discover sugar crystals lying at the bottom. That's life - sweetened but not stirred."

Me: "I have a doubt. How can you stir life?"

She: "U can... stir up something which is obviously there, but not surfacing. It just requires a push sometimes. Try it. It may involve letting go of ego though."

Me: "Sometimes even if you let go of your self-esteem and try as hard as you can, you never get the things you want in life."

She: "See if you can't get something and you think you should have it, then give it your all. Even then if it's elusive, then maybe you deserve better."

Me: "One more doubt. When somebody is happy with what they have, why is it a compulsion to have something 'better'?"

She: "Valid point. Maybe you deserve better is a cliche. Maybe it's best for you to judge what's good for you. And it's frankly irritating when another thinks otherwise. In that case, a little pessimism helps. After all, man thrives in tragedy and reaches the next level when he didn't know he is capable of it. Diversion from a hurt so strong can only make an achievement so great. Maybe unconnected but yet it'll be the reason still."

Me: " Sounds better :). That's going on my blog now! :)".

Nice gyaan coming out of the laughter-box prankster that she otherwise is!

Here's one more forward I got from her. I thoroughly loved it....

"Thought for the day: Always smile in the morning...... It makes people wonder what you did last night ;-)"

p.s Ash- Thanks for being the courtesy for a post here ;-). Don't ask for royalties now!!

Off to being jobless again,
Chandana C. Shekar

A Conversation

Started studying today. Thanks to a friend of mine. But when you try to study after ages, Oh man!, it's really tough to even sit at your table yaar!!. Needed a change. Got an urge to write. But staying at home all day almost leaves you with nothing to write on. Was just remembering If I wanted to write on something earlier and I hadn't. And one thing struck me. A conversation. And then I was sure that that would be the post here for today.

I had some guests at my place a couple of days back. A family with a 4 year old son. I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with him. After Paediatrics posting during my internship, I hardly found kids cute. Almost everyone from my College would agree to that (excepting the people who wanna take up paediatrics as a speciality). Our postings were so hectic and irritating ( Coz we did all other work except what Doctors ought to do), and with kids crying all around, at the end of one month, we had had enough of kids!!. But this one, was too cute and refreshing. I wouldn't mind spending time with him every single day. Loved the way he talked. I'll tell you one conversation that happened.

His Dad happens to be an Orthopaedician and the way this kid describes that is ,'My dad repairs broken hands and legs'. Courtesy his Kindergarten School, he can identify parts of the body. Now,

Him: " You also are a Doctor like my Dad? What do you repair?"

Me: "Well, I'll be a surgeon. I'll repair a lot of things then."

Him: "Lot of things? Name them."
Me: "Well, If I become a plastic surgeon, I'll repair scars. Like the one you have on your chin."
( He had a scar on his chin due to a fall and I thought that would be the easiest to explain to him).
Him: " That's all? Why repair that? It doesn't hurt at all!! Repair something that hurts. That will help people"
Me: "????...Ok.Forget it. So what will you become when you grow up?"
Him: "A Cricketeer, but only in the evenings. I'll play for RCB one day!! I'll be a Doctor during the day."
Me: "Oh!! That's nice. So will you also repair broken hands and limbs like your dad?"
Him: "No, Dad will do that. I will repair only knees and elbows"
Me: "Why only that?"
Him: "Because they hurt the most. Don't you know?!!!"

Well, All I could do was smile. Smile at his innocence, his know-it-all attitude, his zest for life (cricket and medicine huh?), and his thought to help people... Kids, they think wounded knees hurt the most!! :-)  No comments, but I really wish his innocence stays with him forever. Hope nothing else in life hurts him more than wounded knees.

And oh yeah, Cricket!! India and Cricket can never ever be seperated!!Never. No ways!! It's a religion out here. I guess that's the only thing wherein you can actually call India as a secular country. The only religion that everyone here is tolerant to. Such a small kid, and he wants to play for RCB!! I can understand if he would say that he wanted to play for the Indian team, but RCB??? Well, IPL Impact !! Guess this is worth all the publicity and hype and media coverage and what not the IPL has!!.

Chandana C. Shekar

Why This Way??

Imagine a situation. You happen to (inevitably) go to one of your fav places ( say a cafe). You've never been there with anyone else, but one (special) person. Somebody, in whose life you no longer exist, but who means a hell lot to you. The only person you would want to have back in your life.The only person who went out of his way to bring a smile on your face, and now the only reason for tears to take a peek off your eyes every now n then.. As you walk through the parking lot, memories of that day's journey come alive. The very nice drive, manners at its best, amazing after-rain-weather, songs dedicated, and to top it all, loads of care and affection. Felt no less than a princess that fortunate day.The day you had realised that it needn't necessarily have to be love for someone to be special. You enter the place and imaginary shadows of you both sitting and chatting appear to you. You blink a couple of times and it disappears to nowhere. Trying to hold back the tears and faking a smile, you place the order and turn around, to see quite a few couples sitting and loafing time, as though nobody's watching. You just give a sigh, and say 'How I wish...', and right that moment, his fav song starts playing in the background...

Now, isn't that  a bit too unfair on you? For the only reason that you genuinely cherished that person...and you still do... ??

Loads of love,

Chandana

First Rains :-) :-)

My special day of the year, a fossil watch and gift cheques at home, an evening with friends at our fav restaurant, a couple of expectations going totally dead, but some other suprise coming my way, quite some photo-time, a long drive on the highway with our fav music on.... things were going so my way...and then, for the big suprise gift... the pitter-patter of rain drops on the roof n glass of the car :-) :-) . "Hmm... rain!!!" , went all of us in almost chorus mode. All our window glasses went low, hands went reaching out to feel the rain, and smiles on all our faces stayed glued :-) . All we wanted to do was stop the car, go to the middle of the road, face the sky, close our eyes and reach out our hands for the rain :).

'First rains'... They are always magical. Magical is just the right word I feel. It makes you feel ... Great... Nice...The shift in the air coz of the smell of sand when it rains , is one of a kind. I don't think there is one single moron who wouldn't love that sniff. First rains always take you by suprise. First impressions are the best impressions, and rains are no exception I guess. Memories dance along on your mind like waves at sea. One after another, the memoirs of what you did during the first rains of every year of your life come back into life. Be it running out to play in the rain when we were kids or walking(read dancing) back home slowly from school to enjoy the rain, moms calling their kids back and hurriedly wiping their heads with a towel saying , 'you will catch a cold', unable to go get drenched again, we watching the rain from the balcony after that, and  making those paper boats and running out as soon as the rain stops to let them sail in the water downstream, spotting the rainbow and reciting the VIBGYOR mnemonic as know-it-alls!! Well, everybody would have enjoyed their monsoons as kids. A little later, when 'teens' were what we were called and how we looked was the matter of prime importance, first rains were always a photo oppurtunity that could never be missed!! From choosing the umbrellas and the poses to feeling great for the shoot and the photos, lolz, was real fun.

College life, when all the luvvy-duvvy stuff started, monsoons always came with a cue for romance.The first rain drops made the most romantic rain-song linger on, and a smile, was just for that one special person. Nobody to blame, music and romance have gone hand in hand since ages now. From 'pyar hua ikraar hua' from Shree 420 to  'bheegi bheegi raaton mein' from Ajnabee to 'rim jhim rim jhim' in 1942 A love story to 'mere khwabon mein jo' from DDLJ to 'Chak dum" from Dil to pagal hain to 'Bhaage re man' from Chameli to 'Barso re' from Guru.. rains have almost always meant pyar, ishq, mohabbat, sapne, mauj and masti :) . Not to forget our very own, very soothing 'Mungaaru maleye..'. The subtle connection between rain and romance and dreams can never fade. I still remember the first rains in my second year of college when I had just talked to my then 'crush', the first rains in third year when the drive through the college campus made it look more beautiful and more serene. Oh boy, how can somebody forget those times.. If history ever repeats, I would surely want those times to repeat..again and again... :)

As a kid, rain and it's weather used to make me feel cosy and sleepy. I used to have my best afternoon naps when it used to rain. It rained pretty much last night and today morning. Maybe hence, I slept in till 11.30 am!! When I was driving after that, the roads of Mysore felt so different. It was such a relief from the scorching heat of the recent days.With a little bit of sunrays piercing the clouds that covered, the roads all wet and the sand smelling the rain, was a morning I hadn't seen since long. For one more time, Mysore looked like how it was when I was a kid. When we had a lot more trees and a lot less traffic. When boulevards existed in every third lane and parking lots had ample space. When general stores were all the malls we had, and the 'shop uncle' would give us chocolates for free coz he knew who we were. When Mylaari and Gayathri Tiffin Rooms were the Regaalis and Metropole, and Kukkarahalli lake was more frequently an adda than Barista . .I've lived in this place all my life. I know that the day to go from here is not very far. But anyday, whenever monsoon sets in, I'm gonna miss the ones I've lived here. I totally enjoyed my drive in the morning. I stopped and took snaps of my fav roads and none of the on-goers looked amazed. Maybe even they would have taken snaps of Mysore looking its own self after such a long time.

At the end, I ended up blissfuly telling myself, 'I love Mysore'.... and a big fat rain drop splashed on my face. :-) :-)

p.s.- Thanks to all my friends for all the wishes yesterday. I'm really glad that you guys exist in my life. Made my birthday worthwhile :)

Cheers,

Chandana C. Shekar

A thought again...

Some Relationships exist..
They don't have a name, but yet exist..
The two people involved cherish it, and they exist..
Filled with love and affection, they exist..
The world never understands, but yet they exist.
Those relationships exist... to end ofcourse..


Just like that,
Chandana C. Shekar

Random Thoughts Of An Idle Mind

I have so many thoughts running on my mind since today morning. It happens when you sit idle I guess. After all, an idle mind is a devil's workshop right? When too many things are on your mind, you just can't write in detail about one thing, can you? Atleast I can't. Can't put my grey mater to work on one particular topic to put up my views on it. But yeah, I'm so restless today that I wanna pen down something here, my very own space in the blogosphere. Maybe I would feel a bit light after that! I hope so atleast!

Well, I saw a picture on my friend Divya's phone. I've put it up here. Felt it's true. When you've truly loved somebody, come what may, you can never ever stop loving that person. Can just stop showing somebody you love, but that doesn't mean you can stop loving him/her. When you hear a romantic song, or see a couple walk hand in hand , when you want a shoulder to lean on to, or even when you wanna call up somebody and shout with joy that you cracked the toughest exam in the country, you will end up remembering only that person. You will invariably end up sighing, 'How I wish...'. Even if you haven't seen that person since ages, even if things had gone really ugly between you both, even if you know for sure that he/she made a joke out of your feelings, even if that person was very mean to you, you would just end up counting on the good times spent and all the other things would be just negated. And yeah, just the same way, I strongly feel, when you hate somebody, come what may, you would any day hate that person. How much ever you try not to, if you really hate that person, you can just avoid that person, but never forgive and forget the ugly things that would have happened to you because of that person.This especially holds true when you're a very friendly person and in you're whole life time, you would genuinely hate only one or two people for the harm caused to you. Well, I feel so.

I was watching a movie the other day. There was one line in the movie which said , "Some love stories are not great epic novels, but short stories. But it doesn't mean to say that they are less filled with love". Very true. Sometimes, you listen to the tragic love stories and your eyes get wet. And the people who have lived those stories, well, whoever they would live with later on, their heart would still miss a beat for the old fling.A sigh will surely get out.Nobody can ever forget their 'ex'. Just like how a first date can never be perfect, a first crush or first love, many a times may never materialize. But it never fails to stay on in your memory until you go to grave.

There is one more thing on my mind. I feel, decisions are hard to make. They really are. When finally made, with a lot of difficulty and courage and help from others too, if in case those decisions turn out to be the wrong ones, well, it would curb you even more. Let alone repenting it for your life, the next time you have to make an important one, you're gonna be shit scared. Just hope a nervous breakdown doesn't happen!!

I framed my Grad day photo and put it on my study table. Reason? Well, just that I felt I looked good for a change!! Lolz. But since the past few hours since I did that, I spotted my Mom going and having a look at it like some six times!! I realised one thing. Whatever it is, whoever you find in life, friends, boyfriends, colleagues , etc etc,... nobody will ever cherish you like your parents. They may not show. Maybe because they spend all their time doing the responsibilities they ought to and finally have no time to show you how much they love you. But they love you the most in the world. Nobody can ever be proud of you more than them. Whether you are Kennedy or Princess Diana or Kalam or Julia Roberts or the useless yourself, they will still feel proud of you. Glad god created parents :)

Used to love being jobless once upon a time. And now, I guess that's the thing I hate the most. I've been so khaali since morning that I have kinda checked the clock almost every fifteen minutes. I know I gotta study, but for reasons best known to me, I just am not able to do that. I need an angel to help me now I guess!!

Well, this is called 'random scribbling'. No organisation, no second thougts, just what's on my mind. Maybe this is what is called 'restlessness'.!!

Until next time,
Chandana C. Shekar

Down the memory lane

This one goes specially to the 2004-2005 batch of  J.S.S. Medical College, Mysore :-) .

Finally Internship's over. Feels so empty today. I wokeup in the morning, and as usual, the still-sleepy me was deciding what clothes to wear for the day to hospital. Having nice coffee at home also felt inferior to the ordinary coffee my friends and I used to have at Parivar or Chavdi almost every late morning. I don't know if I'm missing the work. Maybe I am, a bit. But friends, oh god...missing them big time...Divya messages me saying she is feeling bad to walk to hospital alone. Moo messages saying he doesn't see any of those familiar vehicles parked... Well, that was enough to get me miss hospital more.

5.5 years of JSSMC...I still remember the very first day when we went to college. Everything was new. All the twists and turns, ups and downs, laughters and tears, crushes and enemies, jealousy and pride, so much happened. Spent the most influential years of our lives with a batch of people. One campus united different kind of people from different parts of the country and taught us to cherish and enjoy life together. Everything we did and everything that happened in life had the same people in it. And now, it's already time to part ways. Won't ever see atleast 70% of them again in life I guess.. Now it feels that 5.5 years happened within a spur of a moment..

UG life was fun. First couple of friends in college, bunking classes, proxys, the first year college day competitions, organising something for the first time, Sixers' trophy and the ragging, the birthday treats in first year, the whole class flunking in Biochem first internals, dissection hall and all those memories, pricking ourselves at Physio lab, some conference that happened and the whole class going to the movie 'Black' after that, unwanted rumours and gossips, few friends flunking in final exam and everybody going sad about it... First year had a lot of memories. Everything was in front of us to explore.

The Hospital postings in second year, standing on the footboard of the college bus to go to hospital on the very first day, getting posted with 'unit mates', with whom we scared the shit out of those poor patients, some medicos strike that followed, sitting at nescafe every single day in third term until dusk... enjoying the bus rides, cribbing on missing the bus back to college, asking for music to start in the bus before the bus itself started, the crushes and dates, my first ever trip with friends,organising events for college day competitions and participating too, getting shit scared whether we would pass in Pathology exam or not, getting caught for getting mobiles to Forensic class, never ever attending Pharmac classes,... Well, second year was an experience for sure.

Community medicine was one subject where we scored without actually knowing anything. That's where we learnt to leave hulas. The Jipmer fest ( we won antakshari there too ), kerala trip, all of us gathering at one patient to look into his/her eyes/ear/nose/throat at a time, our first class party, worrying about attendance at the end.... all was third year.

Whether we learnt anything in final year or not, we sure learnt how to copy in exams!!! Oh everybody did. All the internals and all the very intelligent methods of copying!! From chits, to sheets, to mobile and ear phones...and different ways of using the ear phones... From booking benches to dividing the portions with neighbours to finding out what size sheets would be given in the exams... well, everything was taken care of :). The long awaited class socials and finally clearing the exams to become Interns!!Whoo!!

Whatever said and done, Internship was the actual finale.. New name plates with 'Dr.' added to our names, steths hung aroung our neck and unbuttoned aprons.. Finally things were how we dreamt of always :). Made friends with people who we never thought we would even talk to. 'Duty doctors' room' was the most sought after place. Parivar and Chavdi trips became as necessary as air and water. From rating the PGs to complaining about night duties to going out for unit treats, well, had a lot of fun.We were no more students, nor were we responsible staff. Tensions resigned and outings and fun reigned. We complained about collecting reports and those stinking dressings and those post-op duties. But deep down, we enjoyed postings sure..For me in particular, Internship was one really important phase of life. Everything that happened in this one year was very unexpected. Something happened which I would say was the best thing that could ever ever happen to me. Was yet living it and something awfully pathetic happened too. But well, learnt my lessons atleast. Who can forget the last one month? Everyone started feeling nostalgic already. Interns' room got full with more and more people. Treats and parties happened every now and then. And the slam books!!!I need to write one mroe article to explain the slam-book-filling experiences. When I sit back and think, I enjoyed Internship. Memories of it always and always will bring a smile on my face. It would be one year of life which I can never forget. Lots and lots of memories.

We are done today, still wanting to live those days. Grad day is around the corner and after that, everyone would go their ways... How much ever I write about college life, would never suffice.Neither would I be able to make complete justice to it. All that I can say is, We've lived life's biggest bargain these years. And will miss it big time sure... Loved life at JSSMC n JSSH :)

P.S.- Happy Ugadi to one and all.... n yeah, my blog has crossed the one year mark :)

Cheers,

Chandana C. Shekar

A message with a meaning

One of my friend sent me a message the other day. It said,

"In life, only 3 things matter the most...
How fully you lived,
How deeply you loved, and
How well you learnt to let go of things not meant for you".

Very true indeed!! How long you lived is not what matters. How well you lived is what matters. The world should remember you for what you were, even after you're gone.

'Love', that's one thing I always and always believed in. It is the most beautiful thing that can happen to anybody. Be it between anybody and any relationship; when Love intervenes, the relationship would turn worthwhile. And Love, has to be given it's respect. No playing around. When you love, you 'ought' to do it with all your heart. No short cuts and adjustments there.

The last line out there, that's my fav. When something doesn't belong to you,... Well, practically speaking, that would be a fact that would be hard to digest. Especially if you're an Aries (coz I am) or a stubborn person, who just can't let go and just can't stop trying; well, you're having a bad time then!! There is nothing wrong in trying to keep it. But when it's not working, then best (not even better)is to let it go. Because when things are destined to end, if you let it go, it will atleast end on a good note. But in case you try holding on to it, things will turn ugly, and at the end, you are the one whose gonna get hurt. They would be no hope also left. And how much ever you try to correct it, it's not gonna make any difference. Nobody would look at your intentions. They would just look at your ways. So, any day, it's better to gracefully let things go. I agree that it's easier said than done. But , no other option right? In case you are still stubborn, all you can do to keep peace with your mind, is, to pray and hope. You never know, it might come back to you someday if it was really meant to be..And when you get something when you least expect it, well, what more ? :) And by the way, 'Hope' has always been the light of life right? :)

This message helped me a little bit when I was low for something. Putting it up here, hoping it would help somebody someday a wee bit atleast :)

P.S. - I tried editing the template of my blog, and now the layout is messed up. For those who wanna comment on this blog, the link is right next to the title of the post ( instead of being at the bottom), and is called 'had reaction'. Sorry for the inconvenience.Not able to figure out how to set it right :(

Cheers,
Chandana C. Shekar

Lost..

Have had so many thoughts churning in my mind today, that I'm so clueless as to which one I should write about. Well, anyways, was just going through my poems. This poem out here, was written way back in October 2007!! Was too amateur at writing then ( not that I'm any better now;)) and this poem has it's own flaws. For some reason, felt like putting it up here today.. Just like that..



As the night seeps in,
And the winds blow slow;
I just know, it's been so long,
Since, with me, you tagged along..

Done with the day, with things going my way,
No chores pending , neither any mending.
Everything is in place, except my heart,
It's just out there, waiting for its counterpart.

Sipping my coffee, by my window, I stand,
Watching people pass by, walking hand in hand.
I see you too, with arms wide open,
Before I can run into you, my illusion gets proven.

How do I show you, how much I miss you..
How do I tell you, I want you back..
A silent tear, a silent whisper,..
With all my heart, I just wish you were here...

Chandana C. Shekar

Memories

Few people in this world write diaries. They pour their heart out there. The diary is their confidante. They have the confidence that nobody's gonna know anything of it, and yet, they don't have to keep things to themselves. Few others call such people as jobless. But then, every person has a life. Every person is a critic of their own life. Few people jot it down and few others just comment about it to themselves. So at the end of the day, everybody analyse their own life and to an extent, others' too. By doing so, we get happy sometimes and sad at times. At the end of all this, all that we end up with, are 'Memories'.

Memories are a diary that every person carries with him wherever he goes, whether he wants it or not. It's as good as our shadow, but invisible to everybody else but oneself. We repent having a few of them, and cherish having the rest. Few are worth storing in an album titled 'Golden times' and few others are a classical example for 'Shit happens'. Somebody enters your life and you have memories, somebody goes too far away, and yet, you will have memories. Even if you are thrown into 'kala-pani', into a room where you can see nothing beyond the walls, still you will have memories. You will still end up missing your mom kissing you good night, or your best friend pulling you to pose for a snap. They make you sigh, 'how I wish it was the same now'.

According to me, missing something or somebody is a bad thing. It just makes you give a sigh. But yet, nothing that you can help. Things just happen. Sometimes, your brain has a brain of its own. It just does whatever it wants to.It 'thinks' whatever it wants to. And it always and always, since ages , has claimed that 'memories' are it's hard earned property; and it can do what it wants with them. Well, no comments on that. Coz my own mind doesn't listen to me. It gives me bad memoirs, that I don't want to ever think of. But it gives me amazing ones too, which make me smile before I go to sleep. Whatever it is, I'm happy I have them. Learn from the bad ones and smile for the good ones.

Life goes on at its own pace, with so many things happening. But why is that only few things are stored as memories? It's something like, your walking along a sea shore and among all the pebbles out there, you just pick a few! Why those selected few? Coz you liked it maybe. Maybe they were good. What about the ones with bad shape? Well, you just chuck them. Same way, be happy with the memories you like.Spend time with people you like. Judge people properly. Don't do bad things anytime to anybody. Because at the end of the day, your memories are so very dependent on the 'World around you' :)

Last few days of my internship. I'm well aware of the fact that these days are gonna be the last few days of my memories of my college life. I'm enjoying every day of it. Spending time with as many people as possible. Clicking pictures whenever needed. And that too now that I have my Satio, pictures are just a reason to use the phone ;). I see every intern walking around

the hospital , not with investigation reports, but slam books in their hands. Well, just few ways that memories are created and stored. One fine day, all this would surely bring a smile on my face. Nostalgia and nostalgia and nostalgia then. Till then, I'm smiling at the old ones, and happy for the ones which are getting created now. :)

Cheers

Chandana C. Shekar