Count Your Blessings

"Life is so exhausting!", I thought. Work seemed to have its own pace, slower than a freaking snail. Love life either vacant or a mess. You know those times in life where your brain and heart are totally determined to go in two opposite directions? Oh ask me more about it! The mid-twenties-crisis? Oh, ask me still more!My friends are either getting promoted, married or having kids, and I have annoying relatives asking me in their more annoying tone about my wedding plans, aarrggh!!

Then as I sat by my window sipping my cuppa, I did some soul-searching. And my day seemed brighter all of a sudden. That's because I realised that my life seems almost perfect(touch wood though). First of all, I love who 'I' am. I have a loving family who are just right for me. I have credit cards and the bill gets taken care of. I'm a Doctor and the journey to be an Attending is so far so good. I can play music, I can cook, I can write too. I have friends who I can call up to chat at 2 am because I am bored. The same friends who say 'Shut up and study' when I have my lazy days. I've been a part of a crazy gang in college. I've loved. I've had heartbreaks. I've had crushes, which I fortunately-unfortunately got over as soon as I talked to them! I've travelled to my dream destination and have made friends during the journey. I've lived alone in a new city, lived in a perfect neighbourhood, got locked out of the house at 4 am, partied hard at the most happening places, had slumber night-outs and travelled to the heart of the city for work every single day! I've known the rules and have had fun breaking them too.

So it's okay that I haven't got into post graduation 'yet'. Atleast I'm chasing my dreams and I'm almost there. I know I will be happy doing what I do at work for the rest of my life. It's totally okay that I'm 26 and single and not on a matrimonial website yet. It's okay that I don't get to put up facebook statuses like 'Thanks my dear husband' after I succeed in something. No offence but,  its fun being successful when you're single. especially when you've earned it with your sweat and blood. You're so hot and happening and you feel like the world is your playground. It's fun to guess who would be that lucky guy, who would be by you at your graduation party a couple of years from now. I'm sure it's gonna be worth the wait.

So what if life is messy at times. So what if that guy you have a crush on hardly tells you a hi. So what if that other guy, 'Mr-almost-perfect' asked you out on a date, but 'geography' won't let you go. So what if exam and its results are due. So what if everything is uncertain. How much ever scary or shitty it seems, hope for the best is all you can do. And hope is a wonderful thing. As they say, 'If you believe in miracles, you're bound to find one'. At the end of the day, the journey does matter, not just the destination.  Everything happens for a reason. And as Mom says, 'If not for sorrows, you wouldn't value joy'.

So, as long as you've got a career, a weekend life, family, friends and if you've ever had 'atleast' one guy tell you that he would fight the world to have you as his girl, you've got a life. You've got the independence to dance to your own music for some more time , until that special someone comes your way and joins in. A lot of people your age who stuck to rules are so jealous of your life right now. So if you're sailing in the same boat as I am, Count your Blessings, and Smile. You're worth it.


I have jam packed days right now and will be backpacking soon. It's gonna be an adventure sure and  I'm so looking forward to it. To Success, Fun and Love.

Cheers,
Chandana C.Shekar

Sands of Time

It just seems like yesterday, that You, I met,
You feel the same too, I know I can bet.
How years passed by, I dont know my darling,
Its just like a dream fading away, with every good morning.

Late night talks and rides on the bike,
We enjoyed, we loved, we did everything of the like.
A visit to the temple, or shopping at the mall,
Wherever we went, we had such a ball..

Today, at the station I froze, looking at the train,
Letting you go my baby, was such a huge pain,
Was just telling myself, 'Its all destiny bound',
When I got your call, asking me to turn around.

How could I say bye, how could I speak,
For tears in my eyes, were about to take a peek.
To the end of the road , did I walk along,
How I wish I could, for a little more long.

Amongst your friends, I felt so lost,
Everybody bidding you bye, with time flying so fast..
All I then had, was just one appeal,
Just a moment with you, i wanted to steal.

Before I realised, the whistle had been blown,
Everyone holding on, to seats of their own.
We couldn't shake hands, but sweety thats fine,
My eyes understood yours, and yours knew mine.

At the church my dear, after you left,
Was promised your safety, when before god I knelt..
Sat by my window, thinking of you,
All I knew, was how much I missed you.

I so wish, it was less than years,
That my saddened heart , I got to nurse.
If for each day, away from you, that's passing,
It would be one day close, to together, of our being.


Be loved,
Chandana C.Shekar

p.s.- If I had to choose a poem of mine closest to my heart, it would be this one for sure.

A Gourmet for you, Ma.

You're asleep so calm Ma, and I sit by,
But inside of you, I know is a strife.
It's supper time almost, and I smell nostalgia,
Of all the food you've given me, all my life.

Way back from colostrum and it's antibodies,
Took utmost care to prepare my cerelac.
For my birthdays, you baked those amazing cakes,
And those yummy cookies, every day for a snack.

Come any festival, was always my favourite sweet,
Chicken soup it was, when I went down with viral.
All my exams, I survived with your midnight tea,
Dinner was a feast daily, with tangy mango pickle.

Making my career in Medicine was important,
And I had to focus, I always thought.
Hence the aid of stove, spoon and spices,
Not even for one single day,I sought.

Late now though, I realise it today,
For you, I should've sometime cooked.
Even though just a meal or two,
Happy then, you would've felt and looked. 

Now please open your eyes Ma,
Respond to the drugs acting on you.
Help me cook a Gourmet for you Ma,
Just bid your Ryle's Tube adieu.


p.s.:This poem is fiction.  Hope such a day never ever comes in anybody's life though.

p.s.:I'm back!! Four years on my blog, though I was absconding for the whole last year. :-p .

Yours,
Chandana C Shekar