Count Your Blessings

"Life is so exhausting!", I thought. Work seemed to have its own pace, slower than a freaking snail. Love life either vacant or a mess. You know those times in life where your brain and heart are totally determined to go in two opposite directions? Oh ask me more about it! The mid-twenties-crisis? Oh, ask me still more!My friends are either getting promoted, married or having kids, and I have annoying relatives asking me in their more annoying tone about my wedding plans, aarrggh!!

Then as I sat by my window sipping my cuppa, I did some soul-searching. And my day seemed brighter all of a sudden. That's because I realised that my life seems almost perfect(touch wood though). First of all, I love who 'I' am. I have a loving family who are just right for me. I have credit cards and the bill gets taken care of. I'm a Doctor and the journey to be an Attending is so far so good. I can play music, I can cook, I can write too. I have friends who I can call up to chat at 2 am because I am bored. The same friends who say 'Shut up and study' when I have my lazy days. I've been a part of a crazy gang in college. I've loved. I've had heartbreaks. I've had crushes, which I fortunately-unfortunately got over as soon as I talked to them! I've travelled to my dream destination and have made friends during the journey. I've lived alone in a new city, lived in a perfect neighbourhood, got locked out of the house at 4 am, partied hard at the most happening places, had slumber night-outs and travelled to the heart of the city for work every single day! I've known the rules and have had fun breaking them too.

So it's okay that I haven't got into post graduation 'yet'. Atleast I'm chasing my dreams and I'm almost there. I know I will be happy doing what I do at work for the rest of my life. It's totally okay that I'm 26 and single and not on a matrimonial website yet. It's okay that I don't get to put up facebook statuses like 'Thanks my dear husband' after I succeed in something. No offence but,  its fun being successful when you're single. especially when you've earned it with your sweat and blood. You're so hot and happening and you feel like the world is your playground. It's fun to guess who would be that lucky guy, who would be by you at your graduation party a couple of years from now. I'm sure it's gonna be worth the wait.

So what if life is messy at times. So what if that guy you have a crush on hardly tells you a hi. So what if that other guy, 'Mr-almost-perfect' asked you out on a date, but 'geography' won't let you go. So what if exam and its results are due. So what if everything is uncertain. How much ever scary or shitty it seems, hope for the best is all you can do. And hope is a wonderful thing. As they say, 'If you believe in miracles, you're bound to find one'. At the end of the day, the journey does matter, not just the destination.  Everything happens for a reason. And as Mom says, 'If not for sorrows, you wouldn't value joy'.

So, as long as you've got a career, a weekend life, family, friends and if you've ever had 'atleast' one guy tell you that he would fight the world to have you as his girl, you've got a life. You've got the independence to dance to your own music for some more time , until that special someone comes your way and joins in. A lot of people your age who stuck to rules are so jealous of your life right now. So if you're sailing in the same boat as I am, Count your Blessings, and Smile. You're worth it.


I have jam packed days right now and will be backpacking soon. It's gonna be an adventure sure and  I'm so looking forward to it. To Success, Fun and Love.

Cheers,
Chandana C.Shekar

Dream of life... A story.

Hey everybody, Hope you'll doing fair and fine. Well, this is a story I wrote a year ago. Had featured on N-zine then. Just re-posting it here on my space now..

Dream Of Life
 

There it was, right in front of her. She had aspired for it since she was a ten year old kid. Two more months, and she was gonna live it! The admission notification from the University of Duke, North Carolina, USA was in her very own hands! Megha, a young doctor,a fighter by default, knew that Duke would be the only place where she would train to become a Surgeon. 'To become a Doctor' was never her dream. "To become a Surgeon at 'The Duke'" was always what she had dreamt of. That had driven her through all her exams and all her grades, ever since school.

Megha, was from an upper middle class educated family. Her parents had got her everything she wanted. Everything she could probably have. But admission to the University of Duke, that too for General Surgery, was far from imagination. She realized this only after entering Medical College. Her parents couldn't do anything for her. Neither would Letters of Recommendations from India work nor would any money. She would be considered a Foreign Medical Graduate and she needed the highest scores and hell a lot of research papers and publications in medical journals. Her classmates said that she was being foolish that she was trying for this. She was told to shift to another university or another branch. Duke was the USA Top 4 after all! But Megha knew what she wanted. She had nurtured the dream since the time she had visited the University on a trip when she was just in class 5, and she wouldn't let go of it now. She knew this was all she had to do to make herself and her parents happy. This was their only purpose of living, and she trusted herself. She believed in her dream.

One fine day, while picking up a book at the library, Megha bumped into somebody. Somebody, who she felt was the most handsome guy in the world. Preet. A senior of two years. Silence ruled as though they were paying due respect to the library rules! Little did Megha know then, that Preet had felt the same way she did! College days passed by, two hearts and souls met. And as in all love stories, Megha and Preet never realised.

Visits to the malls and movies, those late night talks and rides on the bikes, smiles and tears, Megha and Preet had everything between them as every other couple would. The only difference was that they never thought about the future. Not even when they said "I love you for life". Megha cleared the Step one of the USMLE exam in her second year of college itself. She knew there was no turning back now.She had two more Steps to clear the exam, and she would even kill for it. Three more years of blissful love, Megha and Preet were the happiest couple their college ever saw. Preet got a Radio diagnosis post graduation admission in a prestigious institution in Delhi. All of a sudden it dawned on Megha that he would live in India for the rest of his life! What would she do in America? But Preet saw through her. He knew the depth of her dream. And he knew he wouldn't let that get shattered. Not for anything. He had then said, 'I shall take care of it. You don't worry." That was enough for her. She trusted him.

Megha strived hard. 'Duke' meant the world to her now. Nevertheless, she lost hope on quite a few occasions. She was backed up by Preet every single time she went low. She used to be back on her feet when he used to say, "Don't let anybody stamp on you. Not even yourself". She knew he was her back-bone and was more than glad to have him in his life. She gave all her exams, attended interviews and sat at home with fingers crossed. She was tired. She had done everything she could. She was sure nobody else would be more eligible than her. Be it research papers or scores or clinical skills.

And this day, this moment, when "The University of Duke" had sent a letter asking her to join in, the first phone call she made had made her smile vanish into thin air.

"Why can't you try USMLE? You're not particular about any university, so you can get into anything you get. And you sure will get into a good one!".

"It's not that Megha. My parents can't afford the expense. I can't burden myself with so much of a loan. Plus, I like the lifestyle back in India and I can't leave my parents behind."

"Preet, why didn't you tell me all this then?I would have tried to..."


"Don't Megha...I loved you. And I wouldn't let your dream get shattered. Not for anything in this world!"


"I dreamt of living with you too. Come on,don't you know that I love you?!!"


"Honey, In order to gain something in life, you ought to lose something"

Silence prevailed. It spoke for itself. Both of them understood what was being said. She went weak in her knees. She felt helpless, and hopeless too.

She was still on the phone when she heard "Hurraayyy!!!" from behind her. It was her family and friends. Everyone important to her was present there, except for Preet. Cheering her for the "Big day", it was then. There were smiles on everybody's face, tears of joy in her parents' eyes. She was hugged and blessed and congratulated. There was a cake for her to cut, champagne to open, and a huge banner which read, "Congratulations girl, for achieving the only dream you ever dreamt!"

"My only dream?". She stood there. Unable to live the moment she had dreamt for, more than the number of times she had even blinked.

 

Until next time,

Chandana C. Shekar

My Write-up's On An e-magazine :)

Hello everyone :) I'm really flattered that you people keep track of the posts on my blog. And I'm extra flattered that you guys are kind enough to post comments :) . Feels really great. Now, let me take you to another blog. Oops!! An e-magazine actually. It's called N-zine. The No Nonsense N-tertainment magazine. It's second edition is out and I'm lucky enough to be a a wee-tiny part of it. They had a theme this time for their magazine and it was 'Dreams'. I wrote a story :). And it feels great to see my write-up elsewhere than my blog :).

Well people, please do have a read and keep the bouquets and brickbats coming. The story is at 'Dream of Life'.

Guess what? There is this intro about me and the other contributors also! That feels so much red-carpet. ;)

And finally, This is one magazine which is the output of pure passion for writing and nothing else. It's been close to the heart of the editors out there and there are really nice write-ups which are surely worth a read. If you're browsing the net, check http://www.n-zine.com/ n I'm sure it will be long before you switch to any other site.


P.s.- I dedicate this story to two people I very closely know. M and G. Love you both :)

Party hard this weekend people!!

Cheers,
Chandana C. Shekar