Count Your Blessings

"Life is so exhausting!", I thought. Work seemed to have its own pace, slower than a freaking snail. Love life either vacant or a mess. You know those times in life where your brain and heart are totally determined to go in two opposite directions? Oh ask me more about it! The mid-twenties-crisis? Oh, ask me still more!My friends are either getting promoted, married or having kids, and I have annoying relatives asking me in their more annoying tone about my wedding plans, aarrggh!!

Then as I sat by my window sipping my cuppa, I did some soul-searching. And my day seemed brighter all of a sudden. That's because I realised that my life seems almost perfect(touch wood though). First of all, I love who 'I' am. I have a loving family who are just right for me. I have credit cards and the bill gets taken care of. I'm a Doctor and the journey to be an Attending is so far so good. I can play music, I can cook, I can write too. I have friends who I can call up to chat at 2 am because I am bored. The same friends who say 'Shut up and study' when I have my lazy days. I've been a part of a crazy gang in college. I've loved. I've had heartbreaks. I've had crushes, which I fortunately-unfortunately got over as soon as I talked to them! I've travelled to my dream destination and have made friends during the journey. I've lived alone in a new city, lived in a perfect neighbourhood, got locked out of the house at 4 am, partied hard at the most happening places, had slumber night-outs and travelled to the heart of the city for work every single day! I've known the rules and have had fun breaking them too.

So it's okay that I haven't got into post graduation 'yet'. Atleast I'm chasing my dreams and I'm almost there. I know I will be happy doing what I do at work for the rest of my life. It's totally okay that I'm 26 and single and not on a matrimonial website yet. It's okay that I don't get to put up facebook statuses like 'Thanks my dear husband' after I succeed in something. No offence but,  its fun being successful when you're single. especially when you've earned it with your sweat and blood. You're so hot and happening and you feel like the world is your playground. It's fun to guess who would be that lucky guy, who would be by you at your graduation party a couple of years from now. I'm sure it's gonna be worth the wait.

So what if life is messy at times. So what if that guy you have a crush on hardly tells you a hi. So what if that other guy, 'Mr-almost-perfect' asked you out on a date, but 'geography' won't let you go. So what if exam and its results are due. So what if everything is uncertain. How much ever scary or shitty it seems, hope for the best is all you can do. And hope is a wonderful thing. As they say, 'If you believe in miracles, you're bound to find one'. At the end of the day, the journey does matter, not just the destination.  Everything happens for a reason. And as Mom says, 'If not for sorrows, you wouldn't value joy'.

So, as long as you've got a career, a weekend life, family, friends and if you've ever had 'atleast' one guy tell you that he would fight the world to have you as his girl, you've got a life. You've got the independence to dance to your own music for some more time , until that special someone comes your way and joins in. A lot of people your age who stuck to rules are so jealous of your life right now. So if you're sailing in the same boat as I am, Count your Blessings, and Smile. You're worth it.


I have jam packed days right now and will be backpacking soon. It's gonna be an adventure sure and  I'm so looking forward to it. To Success, Fun and Love.

Cheers,
Chandana C.Shekar

To Happiness, Always..

On the drive, On the go.. Life seems to take its own turns and curves and you just drive along. Not just so that you don't lose track, but also because you don't have another option. Everybody has a destination,and a journey to make to reach that point. Not that everybody's destination is the same, but maybe the road is, atleast for a distance. Maybe that's why lives of people around us overlap with ours. We take different paths when our lives need to go different ways and then, we meet new people, new travellers. People change, but memories stay. And sometimes we wish those good old times happen again.

In pursuit of a career, people move from one place to another at times. They move out of their comfort zone, in which they've been since ages and go to a new City. In most cases, this happens with leaving family and friends behind and feeling lonely at one point or the other. They get along with new people, get along with house hunting and finding out grocery shops nearby and maybe, a new mode of transport too. They expect a few problems to crop up and expect to count on a few people there. Maybe it ends up happening that way or maybe the other way round. Everything is just an insecurity, just a gamble.

But the strong we, don't just give up. We persuade the dream that doesn't let us sleep. We get through the tunnels to get to the shore we've always dreamt of being on. Even though we go through the phase of struggle complaining and missing our old luxurious life, we run from pillar to post to make this part comfortable for the least. We know this is what we need to do if we want to be happy a decade later.

Then, by the time we solve our problems and get on with the speed that life takes us, its already time for the next phase of life. Maybe time to leave for a new City. And its only then that we realise, that even throughout this phase of life, which we had labelled as 'difficult' and in this city which we never called ours, we had made friends. We had managed to have nice times and those times had created memories. Only then is when we realise that there are a few more photos to go on the wall.

Every coin has two sides and every cloud sure has a silver lining. If we just realise this during the period of darkness and laugh off the problems, if we just manage to reduce the wrinkles on our forehead by not letting unnecessary things bother us; if we just live and let live, maybe then we shall have the time to actually 'Live' the days we have, even during that 'struggling' period of life. After all, its a part of your twenties perhaps and that age has happiness also sanctioned with it. Its just on us, whether we look for it and use it or not. Maybe this city had treated us bad and asked too much of us to start with. But sooner or later, like most arranged marriages, it would have accepted us. Both for our good and bad. And we too, in one way or the other, would have associated ourselves with it. Maybe life would take us to a new city then, to show that its got control over us. And then, the least thing we would want to do.,..is to repent not having enjoyed our time spent here.

So wherever you are, look for happiness. Its all around... Every single day gets with it a lot of sunshine. Its for you to take your cup of it.


Loads of love,
Dr. Chandana C. Shekar

Nostalgia Revisited

"Nostalgia". Have been living with this word for quite a few months now. It started just before my Internship got over. College life of five and a half years came to end and everybody parted ways, with promises of keeping in touch in one way or the other. Thanks to facebook and free sms packages, few friends still do keep in touch. However, no means of communication matches the company spent in person.

One of my friend D left Mysore last week. Again, it was going away of a friend for six years. She, and two more friends - S and S shared a room in the Hostel. Me and another friend who were localites were found at that room very often. There were n number of times when Mom called asking, "Where are you?" and the answer was invariably "Hostel"; even though I was elsewhere at times, because I knew saying 'hostel' would be safe! We discussed crushes and gossips there, slept in the afternoon and missed classes, had those late night combined study sessions during exams, prepared Maggi which took ages to cook on that electric stove, slept the night over when we got late roaming outside and it was past the curfew at home and so on. We've shared laughter and tears, success and failure in that very room. Six years of all that, and now its all over. I can never go to that Hostel again, and never can I answer my Mom's question about where I am as 'hostel'.

Just the day before D left, we friends had gone out on a drive. A friend A got a call from home and he went, "Shh!! Call from home." And everybody went silent. We've done so much of that all this while and now, that's over too. One reason is that we are getting older (??), more responsible and hence parents won't bother. One more is that everybody is getting busy with their lives, trying to make a career or getting married. Nobody has time to loaf around and hence, this situation won't arise in the first place!!

Yesterday I and a friend S were chatting. The topic of conversation shifted to Marriages. He said, "There is still time. Look for a guy who can get you a Management quota Post Graduation seat and get married. Enjoy life till June 2011 and then start your Pg life". No surprises, Me the rebel, started talking about 'Compatibility' and how funny a few arranged marriages are and the business proposals that go with it. My friend thought it looked like I would get into a Love marriage and said so. The conversation continued and I said, "Arre yaar, If I want to get into a Love marriage and my parents don't agree, aur main bhaagke registered marriage karoon, tum please witness banke sign karna." And He said,"Tu chinta math kar yaar.Main tumhaara Bhai banke tumhaari shaadi karvaaonga". And then both of us burst into a laughter. The Dulhan is here. Dulhan ka Bhai is ready. Now where on earth is the Dulha?? One fine day when I get married, such thoughts and comments and conversations will also cease and turn into nostalgia. What would we talk about then? The gifts to get at baby-shower??

Life's been just books and books nowadays. Whether I 'actually' study or not, top most priority now is books. Everybody's got busy studying and hardly anybody calls or messages, forget meet anybody. I have two friends -T and S. We message each other at night so that we have some company to keep us awake, which is very difficult with those fatso books in front of us. The sms conversations we have everyday are very typical. Its always like - "Hey, sup?"  .."Studying ya. You?" .. "Same da. How's it going?" .. "Bad. Yours?" .. "Pathetic. how many questions?" .. "60. You?" .. "Arre don't ask. Im sick n tired. What bakwass is this..." and on and on. But thinking in the sense of nostalgia, maybe one fine when we all get our Post Graduation admissions done and shall be pursuing our courses, maybe we shall miss this part too. Maybe not the frustration we have now, but maybe the pleasure of waking up at our own time, not worrying to dress up, mom making coffee for us more than a couple of times a day, ghar ka khaana and maybe these conversations. Pre-PG life is the worst phase of a Medico's life. With all the frustrations and insecurities, the friends who give us company through this journey sure make the tiring journey easier, even though its a wee bit.

Well anyways, I want this Pre-PG life to get over soon. And like all other souls who are sailing in the same boat as I am, I too want a happy ending to this.

Until next time,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up Thoughts #20

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"The Heart always wants what it wants. But with time, the Heart too learns what not to want."

Cheers,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up Thoughts #19

"Nobody knows you better than yourself. God just knows you the best."

Until next time,
Chandana C. Shekar

Me, Viral and Ramblings..

Down with Viral, studies screwed up, bad days go worse. As though it wasn't boring enough to sit in a chair the whole day for months together studying for one life-making-or-breaking-examination, now I had to get confined to the bed. The only compensation I got was to shift to the couch in the living room if I wanted to watch TV!  I hate Viral. They say, 'Doctors are the fussiest patients'. So true. I've seen other doctors behaving so. When it came to me, was no different. Well, Thats enough I guess. This is my space in the blogosphere. I own it and the rules are mine. So no more negatives about me is gonna come up here. Man, I missed a friend's wedding today. And one more tomorrow is gonna have the same fate. Shit ya.

Anyways, I know nothing of this is making any sense. Oh come on, I'm not keeping well!. I can't be writing an award winning post here!!. I haven't gone out of home since 10 days!! Can you believe that? I realised it just today. Well, that has nothing to do with the viral though. Viral started just two days ago. But yeah, come what may, I am going out tomorrow. I hope any of my friends come down to Mysore for the weekend. I wanted to talk to a friend today and called him up at 11 pm. Well, for the busy being he is, that is the only time he would be free. And he said he needed another 2 hours to finish work at the Hospital. And its a non-call day for him. We Doctors are way too overworked yaar. Especially during our Post-Graduation period. And even after knowing that, we PG aspirants do everything we can ( and can't too) to get that one PG seat. Well, I guess we are the most optimistic lot on Earth. We look at the future, years and years ahead when we will be successful Practitioners. And with a hope of getting to those greener pastures, we go through all the torture for 5.5 years of MBBS, a minimum of a year of Pre-PG, 3 years of PG, sometimes 2 more years of super-speciality , add one more year for miscellaneous. The number of years after that to become an 'established' practitioner making good bucks is very individualistic. So much?? God, Please make me earn big BIG money when I start practising! Ah! There I go rambling again!!

Anyways, Like everyone else, when bored, I also get on facebook. And randomly keep 'liking' pages which have a line to them and nothing else. And today, was a day with the highest probability that I would do it. And I did! I 'liked' quite a few pages, which I felt 'spoke out my heart' in those one liners. One amongst those was really good. I 'actually' liked it. It said , "Sweetheart, he's just a lesson you needed to learn". Wow! That's the best line anybody can say while consoling somebody whose been dumped or cheated on!. The line makes you feel good about yourself, not crib about what happened and at the same time says that the guy was an asshole and was not worth anything more of you! How true! Nice nice. Like, like and the more like.

Okay I need to get off now. Party hard the weekend people..and miss the sick me :( ... ;-).
Chao,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up Thoughts #17

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"You deserve to get what you give the World. Be it good or bad.Whether You want it or not."

Until next time,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up Thoughts #16

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"Sooner or later, Life has the same lessons for one and all."

p.s.-The August Volume of N-Zine is now available. Check it out. I wrote too (Gosh, I never get tired of showing off ;) ). A story this time called "Firangi Desi". Have a read people . Thank you :)

Until next time,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up Thoughts #15

"I wanted 'Perfect'. But all I needed was 'Compatible' "

Bit busy these days,
Chandana C. Shekar

Sat-Nav-Sys ne kaha...

Okay. Found this interesting. Got it on Bikram's blog. The thing here is, suppose you have a Satellite Navigation System in your car, what would be the weird things it can tell you? Just to put ur creative grey mater to work. If any of you wanna try it, do take it up and leave the link to your blog here. Here are the lines that crossed my mind .

"Wrong address? Dude, you said 'girlfriend's place'. And this is my girlfriend's place. There's the car!!"

"Can you shut the AC please? I have a freaking viral."

"That's 'Miss Long Legs'. Pick her up, pick her up."

"Hey brother, I speak. You listen!!"

"Don't you know this is a 'no-fart' zone?"

"When is your next car change due?"

"You better be nice to me , or I'm gonna drive you straight to hell!!"

"My nap-time. Do not disturb."

"You still go for 'lunch-dates'? Grow up! Whats the curfew at your place? 8 pm?"

"Don't hit on the horn so hard! If Mrs. Steering Wheel gets angry, she's gonna lock herself up!"

"You're such a Saint. You don't even kiss in the car!"

"Don't you get that nephew of yours here again. He meddles with me like I'm a PSP"

"No. Not that one. Give the keys to the valet at that corner. I'm all hots for her ;)"

"My ex's boyfriend is in the car ahead. Can you bang it for me please?"

"Hum tum...ek car mein bandh ho.... Aur lock ho jaaye ;)"


Thoroughly enjoyed writing this ,
Chandana C. Shekar

Hmmm...

A lazy wednesday afternoon.. Three friends.. At Barista..

Mr.A - Why is that girls go for the 'bad' boys?
Pause
Miss. P - Why is that guys fall for the 'slutty' girls?
Pause
Me - Hmmm . Right !

Have a nice weekend,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up thoughts #14

"Love is a song that never ends. It's just us, who stop dancing."

Cheers,
Chandana C. Shekar

Just when killing time..

My loyalty shifted. After six years. From Orkut to facebook. From Vodafone to Airtel. Facebook because its a lot more interesting than Orkut. Airtel because the Vodafone people pissed me off.

'Cruise Control' by Maraih Carey. Had been wanting that hello tune since so long. It never functioned on Vodafone. Got it now. yayy yayy Airtel ;-).

Infrapatellar bursitis is aka Clergyman's knee aka Vicar's knee aka Parson's knee aka Carpet layer's knee. And we are supposed to learn all these for the exam?With many more such mess-makers? Why can't it just be called infrapatellar bursitis? Is this like a nick name thing??

When my mom herself is not bothered about me being single yet, I wonder why my mom's brother's wife's mother's brother's wife's daughter (yeah, I got it right) is breaking her head about getting me hooked to somebody!! It's not gonna work dear!!

I have a North Indian friend who did his graduation from Mysore. He called me up today and said, "Thumba dina aaythu. Kannadadhalli maathadbeku" ( i.e. It's been so long, wanna talk in Kannada.). That's nice baby :-) :-).

A friend of mine bought Nokia X6 recently. I'm waiting to see it. Wanna see the Nokia version of my phone (S.E. Satio). Well, my phone's any day got better features, but still, curiosity u see ;-).

My friend Moo started his internship postings in the department of OBG in our hospital. As it goes with that department ( I stress again that the department here refers only n only to the one in our hospital), we started gossipping about how pathetic and  weird and what-not the people out there are. And midway during the conversation, he said, "No wonder all these male gynaecologists here seem like they are suffering from loss of libido". ROFL. That was a real good one. I guess there is no intern who walks out of that department without getting frustrated with the people out there!!

My sister pledged to God that she would quit chicken for a year if she gets through medical entrance exam. Whoo!! I'm wondering how would that help? Is it like God was denied chicken everywhere and she is doing him a favour by giving him her share for a year?

My blog gets a regular visitor from San Jose, California. And very punctual. As soon as my blog post comes up, I get the update on the Feedjit that somebody from San Jose visited. Feeling all nice about it ;-).Can you please tell me who you are? I would love to know :).

I hardly receive sms on my phone nowadays. Everybody's busy getting married or studying you see. And whenever I do get, majority of them say, "Whats up? What studying?" Oh shit! That reminds me. Gotta get back to books. Ta..

Smiley smiley,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up thoughts #13

"Falling for a wrong person isn't a mistake. But choosing to stick on for a lifetime is a crime, against yourself."

Was at a discussion forum a couple of months ago. The topic of discussion for that day was arranged marriage v/s love marriage. Obviously, the older citizens were arguing for arranged marriages and the youth differed from them. Then, this happened..

Uncle: "If you people say love marriages are safe, then why is that the divorce rates have gone high nowadays? It was never this high in our days when the majority were arranged marriages."
A friend: "That's because we atleast have the guts to walk out of unhappy marriages. And we are proud of it."

Very well said. Some conversation came up today, and reminded me of this. Relationships..Uff!!

p.s.- After reading the comments that followed, I'm changing the term 'unhappy marriages' in the line above to 'unhappy relationships'. Because that was what was actually on my mind when I put up this post. The quote from the debate was just to go with the thought . :)

Cheers,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up Thoughts #12

"Its fine if you wanna walk out of somebody's life. Just make sure you don't leave questions behind".

Until next time,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up Thoughts #11

"Ups and downs are very much needed ; a flat plateau is never normal. Be it life, or an ECG."


Content with my day today,
Chandana C. Shekar

"Slap- up thoughts #10"

"The ghosts from your past will haunt you until you yourself turn into a ghost; provided, YOU allow them to."

Some memories never seem to fade,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up thoughts #9

"Never cry for someone who dumped you. The next one may fall for your smile" :) -Mac West

Have a nice weekend,
Chandana C. Shekar

"Slap-up thoughts #8"

"Negatives are necessary in life to realise the value of Positives.
Failures for success, Tears for smiles,
Stones for diamonds,and...
Assholes, for Sweethearts"


Cheers,
Chandana C. Shekar

Random Monday Ramblings

It's 1:00 am and I'm having Cadbury's dairy milk fruit and nut. It's all melted and it feels so good to lick it off my fingers. It reminds me of that dairy milk silk's ad. Hmmm.. Nice ad.

Why is the blue water bottle in my room today? Where did the pink one go???

My brother thinks that I write well and I should write for a column or something. My best friend thinks I'm wasting time writing my blog even and I need to sit and study for my entrance.

When asked why guys smoke, a friend said, "it feels like an orgasm". Another girl replied, "Yuck! What a poor substitute."

Niluvaddamu ninu yepudaina
nuvu evvaru ani adigena
aa chitrame gamanisthunna gotthagaa
That's playing on my phone. I like that song.
 
Call my phone. You'll get to listen to
Your mind's in disturbia, it's like the darkness is light
Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight?
Disturbia, ain't used to what you like
Disturbia, disturbia

But no better substitute to
Yaare koogaadali yaare horaadali,
yemme ninage saati illa

 Or even,
Nanna haadu nannadhu, nanna jeeva nannadhu
Yendhedhigoo,Innendhigoo

Wonder if my dad's earning depends on my mom. Coz my mom's an obstretician and dad's a paediatrician.

What if I was at Las Vegas this right moment?

Day care schools in USA charge 1000$ per month itseems. Wow!! Got a career option if i don't get a PG seat. :)
A friend of mine always ends the conversation with "happy studying". Well, maybe these wishes are necessary to negate the frustration of studying!!.

Drug of choice for S.aureus food poisoning?- 'Nothing'!!.. Yippee!! one drug less to remember :)

6 hours 18 minutes, and not a single message recieved on my phone. Hello everyone!!! I exist!!
I saw this on a bike- "Dad says no racing for kids".. Was that for others or for him?

My sister refers to my mom and my mom's best friend as 'chik-chik friends'.. huh?

A friend's friend got married tonight at a water park! The invitees could play around the water slides itseems.Hmmm, had never heard of anything like that.

The night's so silent.. peace :)

I know of a girl who's getting married. I pity her husband for the kinda girl she is!!

I did something new today.. yeah!!! :)

According to a preventive and social medicine textbook, 'youth' ends at the age of 25! Shit ya, so I have only two more years of youth remaining? poor me :(

Same old routine from tomorrow. Ouch!

I love myself :)

Okay , enough now. Good night everyone :)


Have a nice week ahead,
Chandana C. Shekar