Yet Another Night

Guess I can put in one more poem here instead of any prose. One of my old works, way back in 2007. Just out of imagination. Not to assume any co-incidences in life with :). But one among my favs.. Any suggestions, always welcome :).

Last night, when the night seemed so long,
Playing on the radio, was a beautiful song.
All by myself, I sat in the balcony,
Thinking of you, the better half of me.

Lying on the couch, made of nice soft foam,
I just wished, you should have been here, at home.
All I could do, was give a soft sigh,
And turn my glance, to gaze at the sky.

Oh my God, hadn't we watched this earlier?,
With you sitting, to me, so very near.
Wherever we are today, whatever is the fuss,
We still have the same sky, to roof both of us.

While that night, you said, 'he' was all mine,
And I could have him some day, with us, to dine.
The same moon today, looked so full and elegant,
Seemed like a new bed lamp, for me, that you have sent.

The sky stretched out there, all black and vast,
With clouds in between, moving not so very fast.
Wish you were here honey, to give me company,
Until the sky fell down, upon you and me.

Wondering I was, if I could walk through that park?,
With stars all around, leaving their mark.
Heard from behind me, a very soft whisper,
Felt it was you, saying 'Yes' for an answer.

Instantly did I turn around, telling myself, 'It's Him',
Was less than a second, for me to realise, it was a dream.
Oh dear, how I wish it wasn't a dream, but actually true,
Then maybe, we could have painted, the black sky blue..

Chandana C. Shekar

Lost..

Have had so many thoughts churning in my mind today, that I'm so clueless as to which one I should write about. Well, anyways, was just going through my poems. This poem out here, was written way back in October 2007!! Was too amateur at writing then ( not that I'm any better now;)) and this poem has it's own flaws. For some reason, felt like putting it up here today.. Just like that..



As the night seeps in,
And the winds blow slow;
I just know, it's been so long,
Since, with me, you tagged along..

Done with the day, with things going my way,
No chores pending , neither any mending.
Everything is in place, except my heart,
It's just out there, waiting for its counterpart.

Sipping my coffee, by my window, I stand,
Watching people pass by, walking hand in hand.
I see you too, with arms wide open,
Before I can run into you, my illusion gets proven.

How do I show you, how much I miss you..
How do I tell you, I want you back..
A silent tear, a silent whisper,..
With all my heart, I just wish you were here...

Chandana C. Shekar

Memories

Few people in this world write diaries. They pour their heart out there. The diary is their confidante. They have the confidence that nobody's gonna know anything of it, and yet, they don't have to keep things to themselves. Few others call such people as jobless. But then, every person has a life. Every person is a critic of their own life. Few people jot it down and few others just comment about it to themselves. So at the end of the day, everybody analyse their own life and to an extent, others' too. By doing so, we get happy sometimes and sad at times. At the end of all this, all that we end up with, are 'Memories'.

Memories are a diary that every person carries with him wherever he goes, whether he wants it or not. It's as good as our shadow, but invisible to everybody else but oneself. We repent having a few of them, and cherish having the rest. Few are worth storing in an album titled 'Golden times' and few others are a classical example for 'Shit happens'. Somebody enters your life and you have memories, somebody goes too far away, and yet, you will have memories. Even if you are thrown into 'kala-pani', into a room where you can see nothing beyond the walls, still you will have memories. You will still end up missing your mom kissing you good night, or your best friend pulling you to pose for a snap. They make you sigh, 'how I wish it was the same now'.

According to me, missing something or somebody is a bad thing. It just makes you give a sigh. But yet, nothing that you can help. Things just happen. Sometimes, your brain has a brain of its own. It just does whatever it wants to.It 'thinks' whatever it wants to. And it always and always, since ages , has claimed that 'memories' are it's hard earned property; and it can do what it wants with them. Well, no comments on that. Coz my own mind doesn't listen to me. It gives me bad memoirs, that I don't want to ever think of. But it gives me amazing ones too, which make me smile before I go to sleep. Whatever it is, I'm happy I have them. Learn from the bad ones and smile for the good ones.

Life goes on at its own pace, with so many things happening. But why is that only few things are stored as memories? It's something like, your walking along a sea shore and among all the pebbles out there, you just pick a few! Why those selected few? Coz you liked it maybe. Maybe they were good. What about the ones with bad shape? Well, you just chuck them. Same way, be happy with the memories you like.Spend time with people you like. Judge people properly. Don't do bad things anytime to anybody. Because at the end of the day, your memories are so very dependent on the 'World around you' :)

Last few days of my internship. I'm well aware of the fact that these days are gonna be the last few days of my memories of my college life. I'm enjoying every day of it. Spending time with as many people as possible. Clicking pictures whenever needed. And that too now that I have my Satio, pictures are just a reason to use the phone ;). I see every intern walking around

the hospital , not with investigation reports, but slam books in their hands. Well, just few ways that memories are created and stored. One fine day, all this would surely bring a smile on my face. Nostalgia and nostalgia and nostalgia then. Till then, I'm smiling at the old ones, and happy for the ones which are getting created now. :)

Cheers

Chandana C. Shekar

Ignorance Is Bliss

"No more - where ignorance is bliss,
'tis folly to be wise".

Thus said the poet Thomas Gray in the poem 'Ode on a distant prospect of Eton College'.

That line always used to amuse me. Later one day, when I was watching the Miss India pageant, a question was posed to the participants. It was - 'If ignorance is bliss, then why do you seek for knowledge?'. No offence, but for once, I felt the Miss India pageant judges asked a sensible question!! Something other than 'What would you do If your husband was cheating on you'? or even something as old as 'What do you think beauty actually is?' and stuff. Nice question. So according to me, Ignorance wasn't bliss. Thomas Gray had said that just in context with the poem. If ignorance was happiness, neither would I get into medicine nor would my parents be happy with me. The way life has to be led has to be learnt. You will be left nowhere if you are ignorant. Ignorance was equivalent to running away- or even being dumb. Only lazy people say that ignorance is bliss, just to cover up their laziness was what I always said.

But life changes. And it teaches you a Lotta things. You never know whats gonna happen when. Things happen totally out of the unexpected. Mistakes happen. You learn from them. You gain 'Experience', the greatest teacher in the world. Good things happen to you and you feel good, and then you know what you are supposed to do to get somebody happy.

But at times, 'Shit happens'. You try everything to set it right, but nothing works. Life takes its own road. You are so helpless, even prayers don't work and you feel that the line 'Try and try till you succeed' is nothing but bovine droppings!. And then you give up. You wanna get over it, but you are not able to. They say that a person's past never leaves him. So what to do then? The problem needs a solution right? So you keep on trying. There's nothing wrong in seeking happiness and even you are trying to forget whatever happened with you and trying to be happy.

So the process is on, and just then, every now and then, you end up getting to know things about the issue that was bothering you. You get to know even worse things. You keep getting more hurt. A couple of questions that all of us wonder at at such a stage,-'Why did this happen to me?Why on earth did I deserve this?Why do I have to get hurt when there is just no mistake of mine?'. The 'new updates' about the 'old issue' becomes a road block in your quest for happiness. If you haven't been in such a situation in your life, just imagine yourself in one. Then, at that moment, Won't you feel, "I shouldn't have got to know about this. I was happy without hearing what I heard just now. Getting to know that the issue is/was worse is just bothering me more!"? Wouldn't you feel that? Well, at that particular moment, "Ignorance is actually royal bliss" right? What say? I say Yes!!, It truly is. Can't stop somebody or something from hurting us. That's not in our hand. All we can do, is prevent our self from getting hurt. If it takes to be ignorant for that, then be it so. After all, nobody's more important than oneself. What say? Am I right or am I right? :)

Do write in.

Cheers,
Chandana C. Shekar

Good enuf a day :)

Three friends... a coffee bar... discussing about their ex-s. How does that feel? I don't know how it actually felt.Everything from Ouch to Wow I guess. Was an experience for sure. Two hours that I absolutely loved. All the hypothetical statements to generalisations to arguements to laughing at each other's 'emotional mantra', to sighing sayin 'how i wish it worked' !! Everything seemed so.... I dono what. We were so lost in our own world, that the weird looks that the lady sitting at the table next to ours was giving us, coz she felt we were laughing too loud also didn't bother us! But when I sit and think back about my day, it gets a smile on my face for sure :-) .

Early in the morning I went to the gym and I found out that I've royally lost weight. Not 1 or 2 , but 6 kilos. Whoo!! Just in a couple of months and moreover, I never went to the gym all this while. I never exercised. And it happened yet!! My friend says it was coz of 'mental torture' that I had. Well, whatever, stress or not, I'm happy with the end result. :) The smile it got on my face early in the morning is still on. What a nice way to start my day :)

Had a good enuf day. Content with my day after a really long time. No regrets to sign off for the day :-)

Good night.
Cheers,
Chandana Shekar

Hey..

Im back.. put up a post, and it got deleted for god knows what joy!! Well, all I know now is that Life's a roller coaster ride!! Nothin less than that. And this particular moment, when I'm using my laptop after a really long time, I really am not able to make out if my laptop is more screwed, or my life is!!

One thing, -like 'lesson of the day'- When your low, talk to friends. They sure do help. Even if your the ugliest duckling in the world, they make you feel like Miss World!! If nobody's accessible, which is quite a possibility, then go through your old snaps or even the testimonials written for you on orkut or elsewhere. One smile that it gets on your face would mean a lot at such times. It worked on me, though I never expected it to. Just sharin the tip. Someday, somebody might need it. :)

Well, 2 a.m. and too sleepy. Gotta hit the bed.

Cheers
Chandana C. Shekar