First Rains :-) :-)

My special day of the year, a fossil watch and gift cheques at home, an evening with friends at our fav restaurant, a couple of expectations going totally dead, but some other suprise coming my way, quite some photo-time, a long drive on the highway with our fav music on.... things were going so my way...and then, for the big suprise gift... the pitter-patter of rain drops on the roof n glass of the car :-) :-) . "Hmm... rain!!!" , went all of us in almost chorus mode. All our window glasses went low, hands went reaching out to feel the rain, and smiles on all our faces stayed glued :-) . All we wanted to do was stop the car, go to the middle of the road, face the sky, close our eyes and reach out our hands for the rain :).

'First rains'... They are always magical. Magical is just the right word I feel. It makes you feel ... Great... Nice...The shift in the air coz of the smell of sand when it rains , is one of a kind. I don't think there is one single moron who wouldn't love that sniff. First rains always take you by suprise. First impressions are the best impressions, and rains are no exception I guess. Memories dance along on your mind like waves at sea. One after another, the memoirs of what you did during the first rains of every year of your life come back into life. Be it running out to play in the rain when we were kids or walking(read dancing) back home slowly from school to enjoy the rain, moms calling their kids back and hurriedly wiping their heads with a towel saying , 'you will catch a cold', unable to go get drenched again, we watching the rain from the balcony after that, and  making those paper boats and running out as soon as the rain stops to let them sail in the water downstream, spotting the rainbow and reciting the VIBGYOR mnemonic as know-it-alls!! Well, everybody would have enjoyed their monsoons as kids. A little later, when 'teens' were what we were called and how we looked was the matter of prime importance, first rains were always a photo oppurtunity that could never be missed!! From choosing the umbrellas and the poses to feeling great for the shoot and the photos, lolz, was real fun.

College life, when all the luvvy-duvvy stuff started, monsoons always came with a cue for romance.The first rain drops made the most romantic rain-song linger on, and a smile, was just for that one special person. Nobody to blame, music and romance have gone hand in hand since ages now. From 'pyar hua ikraar hua' from Shree 420 to  'bheegi bheegi raaton mein' from Ajnabee to 'rim jhim rim jhim' in 1942 A love story to 'mere khwabon mein jo' from DDLJ to 'Chak dum" from Dil to pagal hain to 'Bhaage re man' from Chameli to 'Barso re' from Guru.. rains have almost always meant pyar, ishq, mohabbat, sapne, mauj and masti :) . Not to forget our very own, very soothing 'Mungaaru maleye..'. The subtle connection between rain and romance and dreams can never fade. I still remember the first rains in my second year of college when I had just talked to my then 'crush', the first rains in third year when the drive through the college campus made it look more beautiful and more serene. Oh boy, how can somebody forget those times.. If history ever repeats, I would surely want those times to repeat..again and again... :)

As a kid, rain and it's weather used to make me feel cosy and sleepy. I used to have my best afternoon naps when it used to rain. It rained pretty much last night and today morning. Maybe hence, I slept in till 11.30 am!! When I was driving after that, the roads of Mysore felt so different. It was such a relief from the scorching heat of the recent days.With a little bit of sunrays piercing the clouds that covered, the roads all wet and the sand smelling the rain, was a morning I hadn't seen since long. For one more time, Mysore looked like how it was when I was a kid. When we had a lot more trees and a lot less traffic. When boulevards existed in every third lane and parking lots had ample space. When general stores were all the malls we had, and the 'shop uncle' would give us chocolates for free coz he knew who we were. When Mylaari and Gayathri Tiffin Rooms were the Regaalis and Metropole, and Kukkarahalli lake was more frequently an adda than Barista . .I've lived in this place all my life. I know that the day to go from here is not very far. But anyday, whenever monsoon sets in, I'm gonna miss the ones I've lived here. I totally enjoyed my drive in the morning. I stopped and took snaps of my fav roads and none of the on-goers looked amazed. Maybe even they would have taken snaps of Mysore looking its own self after such a long time.

At the end, I ended up blissfuly telling myself, 'I love Mysore'.... and a big fat rain drop splashed on my face. :-) :-)

p.s.- Thanks to all my friends for all the wishes yesterday. I'm really glad that you guys exist in my life. Made my birthday worthwhile :)

Cheers,

Chandana C. Shekar

A thought again...

Some Relationships exist..
They don't have a name, but yet exist..
The two people involved cherish it, and they exist..
Filled with love and affection, they exist..
The world never understands, but yet they exist.
Those relationships exist... to end ofcourse..


Just like that,
Chandana C. Shekar

Random Thoughts Of An Idle Mind

I have so many thoughts running on my mind since today morning. It happens when you sit idle I guess. After all, an idle mind is a devil's workshop right? When too many things are on your mind, you just can't write in detail about one thing, can you? Atleast I can't. Can't put my grey mater to work on one particular topic to put up my views on it. But yeah, I'm so restless today that I wanna pen down something here, my very own space in the blogosphere. Maybe I would feel a bit light after that! I hope so atleast!

Well, I saw a picture on my friend Divya's phone. I've put it up here. Felt it's true. When you've truly loved somebody, come what may, you can never ever stop loving that person. Can just stop showing somebody you love, but that doesn't mean you can stop loving him/her. When you hear a romantic song, or see a couple walk hand in hand , when you want a shoulder to lean on to, or even when you wanna call up somebody and shout with joy that you cracked the toughest exam in the country, you will end up remembering only that person. You will invariably end up sighing, 'How I wish...'. Even if you haven't seen that person since ages, even if things had gone really ugly between you both, even if you know for sure that he/she made a joke out of your feelings, even if that person was very mean to you, you would just end up counting on the good times spent and all the other things would be just negated. And yeah, just the same way, I strongly feel, when you hate somebody, come what may, you would any day hate that person. How much ever you try not to, if you really hate that person, you can just avoid that person, but never forgive and forget the ugly things that would have happened to you because of that person.This especially holds true when you're a very friendly person and in you're whole life time, you would genuinely hate only one or two people for the harm caused to you. Well, I feel so.

I was watching a movie the other day. There was one line in the movie which said , "Some love stories are not great epic novels, but short stories. But it doesn't mean to say that they are less filled with love". Very true. Sometimes, you listen to the tragic love stories and your eyes get wet. And the people who have lived those stories, well, whoever they would live with later on, their heart would still miss a beat for the old fling.A sigh will surely get out.Nobody can ever forget their 'ex'. Just like how a first date can never be perfect, a first crush or first love, many a times may never materialize. But it never fails to stay on in your memory until you go to grave.

There is one more thing on my mind. I feel, decisions are hard to make. They really are. When finally made, with a lot of difficulty and courage and help from others too, if in case those decisions turn out to be the wrong ones, well, it would curb you even more. Let alone repenting it for your life, the next time you have to make an important one, you're gonna be shit scared. Just hope a nervous breakdown doesn't happen!!

I framed my Grad day photo and put it on my study table. Reason? Well, just that I felt I looked good for a change!! Lolz. But since the past few hours since I did that, I spotted my Mom going and having a look at it like some six times!! I realised one thing. Whatever it is, whoever you find in life, friends, boyfriends, colleagues , etc etc,... nobody will ever cherish you like your parents. They may not show. Maybe because they spend all their time doing the responsibilities they ought to and finally have no time to show you how much they love you. But they love you the most in the world. Nobody can ever be proud of you more than them. Whether you are Kennedy or Princess Diana or Kalam or Julia Roberts or the useless yourself, they will still feel proud of you. Glad god created parents :)

Used to love being jobless once upon a time. And now, I guess that's the thing I hate the most. I've been so khaali since morning that I have kinda checked the clock almost every fifteen minutes. I know I gotta study, but for reasons best known to me, I just am not able to do that. I need an angel to help me now I guess!!

Well, this is called 'random scribbling'. No organisation, no second thougts, just what's on my mind. Maybe this is what is called 'restlessness'.!!

Until next time,
Chandana C. Shekar

Happy Birthday Anna :)

It's my Brother's Birthday today.. A year ago, when I had just started my blog, I knew that all I could write there on this day was about him. I wrote quite a lot indeed, that my Bhabhi called it a 'Ramayana' about him. Lolz.. It's been ages since I last saw him. Bugger is busy 'well' settling his life out there in the USA. Wonder how we can be siblings now? Coz I'm an Indian citizen and he is an American citizen now!!! Whoo!! Lots happened in life with him being miles apart. I was a tenth standard kid when he left home. When he came back, I was a medical student. And now, I'm a full fledged doctor! I hope I won't be getting married off the next time he comes to see us!! ;)

Well, one more year, and I still love u the same anna. It's really tough to write about two kinds of people - strangers , and loved ones. And you my dear, are a 'very very loved one'. And it's too tough for me to pen down anything about you.

When God created you, I guess he had just finished reading a book about an 'Ideal person' or so.. And hence, you were made so perfect I guess!! :) Else, he couldn't have made such an amazing, sweet, caring, loving, lovable and a stable headed person :) Everybody at home say that you are the best son they could ever get. I and Nidhi say we couldn't get a better brother than you. I'm sure bhabhi says you're the best bargain of her life... Well, you're simply the best :) That's all I can say about you :)

Miss you anna. I'm really glad you were born on this day, years ago. And I thank God that we got to stay together even though it could have happened the other way round!! I always say aunts and uncles and cousins are relatives and not family. But you? Oh come on, I can't spell 'family' without you :) You've been the best brother I could ever get. Thanks for everything you gave me and all of us here at home. I and Nidhi still fight as to who you love the most. She still gets jealous of me when you talk to me more on the phone than her . And I just can't stop bubbling with joy then ...every single time :-) .  I'm greatful to you for lots and lotsa things...

For being there every time I needed you and for not being around when I didn't need you too :-).

For listening to all my gossips and all my stupid thoughts..

For tolerating and appreciating my talkativeness... 

For never being a possessive brother...
For taking interest in the smallest things of my life, though you were miles away...
For being my partner in crime quite a few times in the few 'jasoosis' we did ;-)...
For all that pep talk about life...
For all those suggestions on how to enjoy life...
For all those promises you made to take me out holidaying in your country...
For always believeing in my dreams, when I myself had doubts about them...

For all those discussions on 'my dream guy'..

For never making me feel I'm actually the eldest at home.

For 'countless' more things...

And more than anythin, for assuring me, that come what may, you're just a call away :)

I swear, I'm really glad you were born.. We all cherish you big time.. BIG time.. :-) This day, when I'm at such a stage in life when I gotta decide about my life, career and love, I really wish you were here. Everytime I miss you, just like this very moment, my eyes get wet. You mean too much to me and all of us out here, back in India.

Well, all put together, we all love you loads and tons and gallons. No exaggeration there for sure. :) Hope this day brings you loads and loads of joy, and the year that follows gets to you all luck, joy and success and all the small and large things you ever wish for :) Have a lovely day bro. Party hard :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY :)

Loads and loads of love,

Me :-)

Chandana C. Shekar

Down the memory lane

This one goes specially to the 2004-2005 batch of  J.S.S. Medical College, Mysore :-) .

Finally Internship's over. Feels so empty today. I wokeup in the morning, and as usual, the still-sleepy me was deciding what clothes to wear for the day to hospital. Having nice coffee at home also felt inferior to the ordinary coffee my friends and I used to have at Parivar or Chavdi almost every late morning. I don't know if I'm missing the work. Maybe I am, a bit. But friends, oh god...missing them big time...Divya messages me saying she is feeling bad to walk to hospital alone. Moo messages saying he doesn't see any of those familiar vehicles parked... Well, that was enough to get me miss hospital more.

5.5 years of JSSMC...I still remember the very first day when we went to college. Everything was new. All the twists and turns, ups and downs, laughters and tears, crushes and enemies, jealousy and pride, so much happened. Spent the most influential years of our lives with a batch of people. One campus united different kind of people from different parts of the country and taught us to cherish and enjoy life together. Everything we did and everything that happened in life had the same people in it. And now, it's already time to part ways. Won't ever see atleast 70% of them again in life I guess.. Now it feels that 5.5 years happened within a spur of a moment..

UG life was fun. First couple of friends in college, bunking classes, proxys, the first year college day competitions, organising something for the first time, Sixers' trophy and the ragging, the birthday treats in first year, the whole class flunking in Biochem first internals, dissection hall and all those memories, pricking ourselves at Physio lab, some conference that happened and the whole class going to the movie 'Black' after that, unwanted rumours and gossips, few friends flunking in final exam and everybody going sad about it... First year had a lot of memories. Everything was in front of us to explore.

The Hospital postings in second year, standing on the footboard of the college bus to go to hospital on the very first day, getting posted with 'unit mates', with whom we scared the shit out of those poor patients, some medicos strike that followed, sitting at nescafe every single day in third term until dusk... enjoying the bus rides, cribbing on missing the bus back to college, asking for music to start in the bus before the bus itself started, the crushes and dates, my first ever trip with friends,organising events for college day competitions and participating too, getting shit scared whether we would pass in Pathology exam or not, getting caught for getting mobiles to Forensic class, never ever attending Pharmac classes,... Well, second year was an experience for sure.

Community medicine was one subject where we scored without actually knowing anything. That's where we learnt to leave hulas. The Jipmer fest ( we won antakshari there too ), kerala trip, all of us gathering at one patient to look into his/her eyes/ear/nose/throat at a time, our first class party, worrying about attendance at the end.... all was third year.

Whether we learnt anything in final year or not, we sure learnt how to copy in exams!!! Oh everybody did. All the internals and all the very intelligent methods of copying!! From chits, to sheets, to mobile and ear phones...and different ways of using the ear phones... From booking benches to dividing the portions with neighbours to finding out what size sheets would be given in the exams... well, everything was taken care of :). The long awaited class socials and finally clearing the exams to become Interns!!Whoo!!

Whatever said and done, Internship was the actual finale.. New name plates with 'Dr.' added to our names, steths hung aroung our neck and unbuttoned aprons.. Finally things were how we dreamt of always :). Made friends with people who we never thought we would even talk to. 'Duty doctors' room' was the most sought after place. Parivar and Chavdi trips became as necessary as air and water. From rating the PGs to complaining about night duties to going out for unit treats, well, had a lot of fun.We were no more students, nor were we responsible staff. Tensions resigned and outings and fun reigned. We complained about collecting reports and those stinking dressings and those post-op duties. But deep down, we enjoyed postings sure..For me in particular, Internship was one really important phase of life. Everything that happened in this one year was very unexpected. Something happened which I would say was the best thing that could ever ever happen to me. Was yet living it and something awfully pathetic happened too. But well, learnt my lessons atleast. Who can forget the last one month? Everyone started feeling nostalgic already. Interns' room got full with more and more people. Treats and parties happened every now and then. And the slam books!!!I need to write one mroe article to explain the slam-book-filling experiences. When I sit back and think, I enjoyed Internship. Memories of it always and always will bring a smile on my face. It would be one year of life which I can never forget. Lots and lots of memories.

We are done today, still wanting to live those days. Grad day is around the corner and after that, everyone would go their ways... How much ever I write about college life, would never suffice.Neither would I be able to make complete justice to it. All that I can say is, We've lived life's biggest bargain these years. And will miss it big time sure... Loved life at JSSMC n JSSH :)

P.S.- Happy Ugadi to one and all.... n yeah, my blog has crossed the one year mark :)

Cheers,

Chandana C. Shekar

A poem again..

Just penned a poem... random... Don't have the patience to think of a title for it... Suggestions welcome :)



Had heard of love, had read about it,

Knew quite a bit, I have to admit.

Yet you made me feel, it was so very new,

When things between us, started to brew.



Life seemed so good, more perfect than ever,

Was so lovely, even my breath seemed so clear.

Sailing amongst clouds, was I, for sure,

Felt like a princess, with a lot of grandeur.



Moving on one day, to our relationship, you resigned,

Not bothering , what in me, you just left behind.

Yet love you loads hon, day in and day out,

And you're the only guy, I can ever think about.



p.s.- My laptop is so screwed up. It's gone ill. And so have I. Need some rest now :(

Chandana C. Shekar

A message with a meaning

One of my friend sent me a message the other day. It said,

"In life, only 3 things matter the most...
How fully you lived,
How deeply you loved, and
How well you learnt to let go of things not meant for you".

Very true indeed!! How long you lived is not what matters. How well you lived is what matters. The world should remember you for what you were, even after you're gone.

'Love', that's one thing I always and always believed in. It is the most beautiful thing that can happen to anybody. Be it between anybody and any relationship; when Love intervenes, the relationship would turn worthwhile. And Love, has to be given it's respect. No playing around. When you love, you 'ought' to do it with all your heart. No short cuts and adjustments there.

The last line out there, that's my fav. When something doesn't belong to you,... Well, practically speaking, that would be a fact that would be hard to digest. Especially if you're an Aries (coz I am) or a stubborn person, who just can't let go and just can't stop trying; well, you're having a bad time then!! There is nothing wrong in trying to keep it. But when it's not working, then best (not even better)is to let it go. Because when things are destined to end, if you let it go, it will atleast end on a good note. But in case you try holding on to it, things will turn ugly, and at the end, you are the one whose gonna get hurt. They would be no hope also left. And how much ever you try to correct it, it's not gonna make any difference. Nobody would look at your intentions. They would just look at your ways. So, any day, it's better to gracefully let things go. I agree that it's easier said than done. But , no other option right? In case you are still stubborn, all you can do to keep peace with your mind, is, to pray and hope. You never know, it might come back to you someday if it was really meant to be..And when you get something when you least expect it, well, what more ? :) And by the way, 'Hope' has always been the light of life right? :)

This message helped me a little bit when I was low for something. Putting it up here, hoping it would help somebody someday a wee bit atleast :)

P.S. - I tried editing the template of my blog, and now the layout is messed up. For those who wanna comment on this blog, the link is right next to the title of the post ( instead of being at the bottom), and is called 'had reaction'. Sorry for the inconvenience.Not able to figure out how to set it right :(

Cheers,
Chandana C. Shekar