A Comedy Of Depression.

"A mental state with unhappiness and hopelessness",
Is what the medical dictionary defined 'Depression' as.
But when I was a victim, with no prizes to guess,
I just felt , its nothing but a pain in the ass.

 How stupid was I, frowning over everything,
Felt like a helpless bird, cut off, its wings.
Neither excited about my engagement, nor the ring,
Until for me, I heard my fiance, sweetly sing.

Things on the D-day, looked so very sublime,
Good, was the ceremony, everybody having a nice time.
Wanted to sing poetry, very well in rhyme,
But yet, all that I could manage, was just mime.

He left for a month, so did his family.
Others got to work too, left alone was me.
I was left to myself, however I wanted to be,
Nobody came to see me, not even for tea.

I wished somebody helped me, maybe an elf?
Or did I have to do it, all by myself?
Just grabbed a book, from the lot on the shelf,
And left for the hills, just I, me, myself..

With so much of desperation, the hilly path, I climbed,
Lost balance and hurt my knee, and yeah, it pained.
Finally seated in a place, I got nicely settled,
But shit, down the hill, the book just tumbled.

I wanted to read something, be it the menu spread at a luncheon,
I then found in my purse, capsules and literature, of 'Isotretinion'.
Oh! this drug, for my acne, was the treatment regimen..
Damn it!, in susceptibles, the side effect it caused, was "Depression"!!

Crpytic.

All my life, Crossword puzzles have been on my list of fav time-pass things. Crosswords clues come in two sets-easy and cryptic. I, like any other back-bencher would choose the easy set. But the word 'cryptic' got etched into my mind. Cryptic-A mysterious word meaning mystery. There was something attractive about that word.

This evening, when I sit with my cuppa and stare at nowhere with thoughts floating on my mind, I wonder about this word again. I wonder whether its for the good or bad that it exists? Its good that it exists because it keeps you wondering about something mysterious, kindles your creative grey cells and makes you spin a story around it. Bad because, man! we already have hell a lot of confusions in life. Who the hell needs another one now? Why cant we keep it simple silly?

Things have been cryptic since the time our developmental milestones starting developing. "Where the hell did I land up?!", I'm sure that question would have popped in all our Einstein-brains the day our Apgar score was recorded.Our first cryptic puzzle!. Six months down the lane, the 'mechanism' by which the rattle made the sound was cryptic.Why weren't we taken to pre-school when the moon was up? Why were we dressed as flowers and birds for the school play? Why was I supposed to study how many wives a  particular king had centuries ago? Why was my high-school uniform skirt 'supposed' to be as long as my legs went? Why would that lady in XXL sized jogging clothes stare at me when I rode pillion on a guy's bike?Why did the professors have their pride ride high on the assumption that they were Hitler's kin? Why did all the exams start immediately after a weekend?Who is that insane moron who deserves to be lynched for introducing post-graduation courses? Best of all, what the hell on earth does marriage 'actually' mean? Phew! My head is off for a spin now!

Cryptic. Mystery. Leaves you wondering at times, and admiring it at times. But one thing happens always - you end up confused. Happens all the time. In everyday life. Wanna check? Haven't you ever had question marks about the umpteen things in life? Like, What your colleagues have judged you as is cryptic. Why do people around you give you that look is cryptic.What does your friend's facebook status actually mean is cryptic. Will the money in your wallet be enough to ask her on a date? Cryptic. Are you one on his list of girls or his only girl? Cryptic. Why do sweet surprises happen? Why does a bad day turn up?  Cryptic. Relationships? Venus v/s Mars? Cryptic. Cryptic-Mystery-Cryptic-Mystery! Oh God!.. Oh yeah, why do we say 'Oh God' when you-know-what? Lol. Cryptic buddy!!

In my earlier article Crossroads, I had written, "We just assume destiny's moves and play along". Damn, I hate contradicting myself, but can we really assume destiny's moves? When we can't guess when our own
kadoos boss will fire us, can we really guess big-boss-destiny's plans? Nah. Destiny is an unsolved mystery, Period! At times, its showers flowers on us. But at times, gives us things we can't accept and when we least expect it. Reality bites and the wound stays for long. Questions make their own list. Why did bad stuff happen in the first place? Why us? Why so soon? Well, that whole thing is cryptic. The more you try to solve the mystery, the more you get stuck in an emotional whirlpool. All that you can do is to have loved ones around to lend you a shoulder, stay strong, do what has to be done, hope for the best and move on.Time shall take best care of the rest. Afterall, everything heals with time.

Haaye, hamaari cryptic zindagi! What else can I say about it? They say there should be something mysterious about a girl for her to seem interesting. Well, in that case, Destiny surely is a moody-super-bitch!.

Chill well this weekend,
Chandana C. Shekar

Full Moon Promise

Walking the way, along the beach
My hand in yours, gave me so much of bliss.
Was it the moonlight?, or the sparkle in your eyes?,
That made the scenario, feel so very nice.

Wonder I did, from where the stars came?
And if actually each were, spelling out a name.
Moved around them, the clouds at their own pace,
With the cold winds, giving the earth, a warm embrace.

It felt amazing, to sit next to you,
And gaze at the moon, full of white hue.
With my hand in yours, looking into my eyes,
Stunned was I, when you said your lines.

"One year into wedlock, you've given my life, so much glee,
Forgive me if I've ever hurt you, is today, my only plea.
To my life my baby, you've been such a boon,
Will love you forever and ever, I swear by the moon".

Was so pleased, that I just couldn't speak,
Nothing more than this, Could I ever ever seek..
Much more than a hug, more than a kiss,
I had just then got, my 'Full Moon Promise'.



Loads of love,
Chandana C. Shekar

Crossroads.

As I shifted to the new place which is supposed to serve as my abode for the next few months, I carefully took a mental note of the address it was at. But nevertheless, when I was returning the next day, I got lost at a crossroad, whether to take a left there or to keep going straight. Then did I realise the answer to a question that was chewing away my grey mater as though it was gum, that when the roads have been landmarked with boards and we still wonder which way to go at a crossroad, whats the big deal if we get confused which path to take when we get stuck at life's crossroads?

Crossroads are an imaginary-yet-no-so-imaginary place in life where almost every twenty-something guy or girl gets lost at some point of time.You may get tired weighing the pros and cons, but you may still not decide which path to take. Exhausted and worn out, mentally and physically; in need of antidepressants; what the hell, and what not? You may say a thousand things to describe that phase, but the summary is just the same. You may feel that your life is going through a grey phase, but that's okay. Grey is not a color to stay forever. It shall soon fade and sunshine shall set in, sooner or later.

Dilemmas are bound to happen and life is bound to appear twisted. You may wish you had never grown up, but you can't avoid the inevitable. Decisions are to be made and many a times, they are definitely hard to make. Maybe your kith and kin wouldn't approve of your decision. But that's still not a problem. They are afterall, the convincable lot.Once you get them to trust your decision, they are gonna stay by you, come what may. Your companions may not go with you.Yet that's not something you can do anything about. Sort your own life first. Everything shall fall into place by itself after that. You may even take the wrong path. Don't panic. There are U-turns in life's paths too. Just make sure you turn around before you run out of fuel.It's always better late than never.

 Destiny never gives anybody a blueprint of his future. We just assume destiny's moves and play along. But one thing almost always happens. Your best plans may get peppered with flaws. You may have to replan, and replan again. And you no option than being ready for the same. Even though it seems like you're the only one to whom life is so unfair, even though you wish you never had options to choose from, chill. That cool dude sitting next to you or that lass in high heels walking in front of you would have gone through the same thing too. It's just that you weren't an audience to their display of confusions.Now that its your turn, you can't sit idle.Take calculated risks, trust your instincts, be weirdly confident, and take your first step. Have patience and let time do the rest. And the dots shall surely connect.

Now if  you wanna totally take the thought off your head for a while and go carefree, or if this thingy doesn't apply to you, that's great! What are you waiting for? This is a city where places like The Skyye Lounge exist. Hire a cab to 560001, and PARTY THE NIGHT AWAY!! ;)

Cheers,
Chandana C Shekar

Turning Three :)

When you like your neighborhood,
When you're comfy with your transit,
When you're fine with your workplace,
And glad about the people around you,
You know one thing for sure-
You took the right turn at the crossroad..
And life's good.. :)


P.S.: Its been three years since 'The World Around Me' was conceived into this virtual world. :) Thank you all you guys for being so supportive and reading (and yawning) my write-ups. :) Love you all.. :)

Cheers,
Chandana C Shekar