Random Thoughts Of An Idle Mind

I have so many thoughts running on my mind since today morning. It happens when you sit idle I guess. After all, an idle mind is a devil's workshop right? When too many things are on your mind, you just can't write in detail about one thing, can you? Atleast I can't. Can't put my grey mater to work on one particular topic to put up my views on it. But yeah, I'm so restless today that I wanna pen down something here, my very own space in the blogosphere. Maybe I would feel a bit light after that! I hope so atleast!

Well, I saw a picture on my friend Divya's phone. I've put it up here. Felt it's true. When you've truly loved somebody, come what may, you can never ever stop loving that person. Can just stop showing somebody you love, but that doesn't mean you can stop loving him/her. When you hear a romantic song, or see a couple walk hand in hand , when you want a shoulder to lean on to, or even when you wanna call up somebody and shout with joy that you cracked the toughest exam in the country, you will end up remembering only that person. You will invariably end up sighing, 'How I wish...'. Even if you haven't seen that person since ages, even if things had gone really ugly between you both, even if you know for sure that he/she made a joke out of your feelings, even if that person was very mean to you, you would just end up counting on the good times spent and all the other things would be just negated. And yeah, just the same way, I strongly feel, when you hate somebody, come what may, you would any day hate that person. How much ever you try not to, if you really hate that person, you can just avoid that person, but never forgive and forget the ugly things that would have happened to you because of that person.This especially holds true when you're a very friendly person and in you're whole life time, you would genuinely hate only one or two people for the harm caused to you. Well, I feel so.

I was watching a movie the other day. There was one line in the movie which said , "Some love stories are not great epic novels, but short stories. But it doesn't mean to say that they are less filled with love". Very true. Sometimes, you listen to the tragic love stories and your eyes get wet. And the people who have lived those stories, well, whoever they would live with later on, their heart would still miss a beat for the old fling.A sigh will surely get out.Nobody can ever forget their 'ex'. Just like how a first date can never be perfect, a first crush or first love, many a times may never materialize. But it never fails to stay on in your memory until you go to grave.

There is one more thing on my mind. I feel, decisions are hard to make. They really are. When finally made, with a lot of difficulty and courage and help from others too, if in case those decisions turn out to be the wrong ones, well, it would curb you even more. Let alone repenting it for your life, the next time you have to make an important one, you're gonna be shit scared. Just hope a nervous breakdown doesn't happen!!

I framed my Grad day photo and put it on my study table. Reason? Well, just that I felt I looked good for a change!! Lolz. But since the past few hours since I did that, I spotted my Mom going and having a look at it like some six times!! I realised one thing. Whatever it is, whoever you find in life, friends, boyfriends, colleagues , etc etc,... nobody will ever cherish you like your parents. They may not show. Maybe because they spend all their time doing the responsibilities they ought to and finally have no time to show you how much they love you. But they love you the most in the world. Nobody can ever be proud of you more than them. Whether you are Kennedy or Princess Diana or Kalam or Julia Roberts or the useless yourself, they will still feel proud of you. Glad god created parents :)

Used to love being jobless once upon a time. And now, I guess that's the thing I hate the most. I've been so khaali since morning that I have kinda checked the clock almost every fifteen minutes. I know I gotta study, but for reasons best known to me, I just am not able to do that. I need an angel to help me now I guess!!

Well, this is called 'random scribbling'. No organisation, no second thougts, just what's on my mind. Maybe this is what is called 'restlessness'.!!

Until next time,
Chandana C. Shekar