Her New Year's Eve

She had waited for this since forever. It had been like a cover page for her big American dream. She was a simple Indian small town girl who had dreamed of making it big in the USA. Through all those years of aspiring and all those years of struggling, this had looked like a light at the end of the tunnel. And now, with a social security number and a job in the Land of Liberty, it was the last day of the best year of her life, 2014. She wrapped up work for the day as soon as she could. Having tucked her patients in, being glad she wasn't on a call-block working on new years, having stopped by CVS to buy that lip gloss she was out of, she couldn't stop being excited about her first long drive in her first bought car. It was gonna be a road trip with a girlfriend. To a party, she felt she totally deserved. It was 3 hours and 120 miles for the New Year's Eve party at New York City!

All decked up and fancy, she was joined by people she knew, and people they knew, who didn't really know each other. Did they seem to like each other? Oh well, it didn't matter. It was a Pier, with Indie music and a dance floor. And it came with munchies and spirits! It had been months since she had danced to a Bollywood number. Miles away from the hindi-land and hectic hours at her medicine internship, she had totally missed that particular joy. Sporting a new-year-tiara, she was all smiles while she greeted people, danced, made merry and awaited 2015.

But at the strike of midnight, when it was hugs and kisses all around her, she realized that she missed people. She sensed the feeling of being alone in a crowd. It was literally that.  Her friends and family back home were done with the midnight celebration hours ago. They had called her then and said they missed her. She had her drunk-and-happy friends shouting "Happy New Year" in un-synchronized chorus over speaker phone and a tear had peeked from the corner of her eye. She missed them. She missed those celebrations and parties, those hugs and love. Almost every soul who loved her was in a different continent, a different time zone.

Right at that thought, her phone rang. It was her family wishing her New Year's at 'her' time. With all her heart, she embraced the fondness from across the miles. Just then did someone blatantly interrupt her conversation. "Phone calls aren't allowed here, talk to people in person", he said. "It's the eve and he's high on spirits!", she thought as she awed at his audacity. "Happy new year, could I borrow you for a dance?" said the starry eyed stranger.  She couldn't help but smile and nod as he walked her to the floor. As moments passed and they made company, the overtly blunt guy seemed all chivalrous to her. What more, the tall-dark-handsome hailed from the favourite part of her second favourite city in the world! The place which she connected with, the place which had given her freedom, friends and frolic. No wonder the instant spark. No wonder the dance lasted long. No wonder the chatter was so much fun. Like the more the merrier, another person joined in the yapping,  and then another. And before she knew it, company had turned into a group, which turned into a herd. They talked gibberish, danced drunk and laughed hysteric. She partied until her head spun and laughed until her belly hurt.

Calling it a night and bidding good byes, everyone retired to their abodes. Settled in the train, looking through the window into the darkness, she didn't feel home sick anymore! Atleast not for that moment. Ofcourse everything and everybody back home was, is and would remain special. They were her back bone and safety net. But she had just had fun like she would have if she was with her peeps. She was still smiling and that was good. She realized that it was by choice that she had moved countries and started on a new journey here. She had made her loved ones proud and the others envious. It was a chapter where she learnt state of art medicine, made friends from all over the world, drove on the right side of the road and paid taxes for the first time. Despite the long hours, annoying beepers and all the hardships that came with intern year, she had her share of blessings to count. She had her go-to-people who watched out for her, seniors who consoled her saying it would get better with time, and friends who whined about work over wine. Life was good at the the moment. And so would be the year.

At dawn, it was a fresh day to go to work. Her soul smiled and lips formed a curve as she reminisced the night before. Would they meet again?, she wondered. May be, or may be not. Would she want that? May be or may be not. Oh well, it was time to get into internship survival mode again. One foot in front of another, just get through the day.

And just as she pulled out of her driveway, her cell phone chimed.  "Hello!", said a text from a 646 number.


Until Next time,
Chandana Shekar


P.S.: "A good story is always better than a dazzling piece of truth" - Diane Setterfield, The Thirteenth tale

Those Defining Days, a story

"Hey everyone. I'm Deepa Subash Mysore, from San Francisco, CA. Well, Medical School is something that happened to me out of the blue and hence, unlike all you guys, I don't have a specific reason as to why I 'wanted' to be a doctor. Other than that, I love playing the keyboard and traveling. Well, see y'all around then. Cheers". 

That was my fresher's speech at the most boring 'freshers' day' ever in history! As I awed at the oil-factory in the samosas and pakodas that went with tea, and the dress-code of 'salwar kameez' that I couldn't even spell; my batch mates awed at me for being an ABCD, which in their lingo was old-school for American-Born-Confused-Desi. Here I was, at a City that made my Surname and yet, a place I had never been to before. 

My Parents, both Indian Physicians, had migrated to the United States Of America way back in the 1980s, even before I was conceived. Maybe they fancied that country more than their Motherland, or maybe work and the country kept them busy enough not to get back to India, not even for vacations. The fact that most of their kith and kin had also made America their abode, gave them all the more reason to stick around. As I grew up, except for my name, family and skin, nothing in me was 'Indian'. Infact it took time for me to even realize that there isn't any language called 'Indian'. When I was done with School and was to get into College, my Parents insisted that I get into Medical School. But I, always thought Medicine and Law and the like were for boring people and not for me. But, unable to convince them that I wouldn't be enjoying it, I made other plans. I intentionally didn't fare well in the MCAT Exams. Nevertheless, my strategists Parents dumped me  at a Medical College in Mysore, India, after paying a large amount of money, that was the norm for N.R.I. students and sparing me the Entrance Exams. Students in India were working their back off  to get through pre-med and hoping like crazy to get into Med school. And there I was,having no idea why the world(read my parents) was doing this to me! But well, for some unknown reason, I didn't fight it much.

Things were okay until my flight landed at the Bangalore International Airport, and I boarded the Vaayu Vajra Volvo Bus to the Bus Station. Just after that, I was living a nightmare! Why on earth was the Bus Terminal at Bangalore called 'Majestic'? What was so majestic about the place? It looked like the biggest chaos I had ever seen in my life! Preparing myself for the pleasant and not-so-pleasant surprises that were yet to come my way, I reached Mysore. I got myself geared up to spend the next five and a half years of my life at the campus of J.S.S. Medical College. In a couple of days,Lectures started and I sucked!. I found everything weird, and weirder. The bossism of the teachers didn't do down well with me. Rules were rigid, competition was too much and I suffocated. The students fighting over every chance to dissect the Cadaver, the Histology diagrams always going wrong, pricking one's own finger for those drops of blood for the haematology blood-count experiments, and worse - so many charts and tables to know by-heart. Aarrgh! I hated it. Very soon, the N.R.I. me was an outcast. I couldn't figure out if the students had made me one, or I myself had.

Come weekends and I hardly had any company to hang out at a pub or so. The city being a small one, went to sleep early too. As they say, destructive things are easier to happen, I befriended a couple of students from other countries supposedly 'pursuing' different courses here. I should have been friends with the ones who liked their stuff, but instead I had chosen the ones who complained about every single thing around them, just like myself. What followed was obvious. I stayed away from classes, partied hard, went on vacations, flunked exams , and basically- wasted time. 

One fine morning, I realised that this was not what I was here for. Being a useless-bug was not me. I wanted to do something with my life and the best option that was in front of me, was to go back to College. But that wasn't an easy task for me. I realised that I needed a break and hence, decided to travel across the region I lived, alone. What I had in store, was nothing less than a treasure. Who said India was a poor country? The sea and beaches at Kanyakumari, the hills and tea estates at Munnar, the Jog falls and the Western Ghats in Karnataka, left me wanting to see more of India's rich nature. The hospitality and harmony with which the people lived here was something the world could learn from. There were petty villages with poor people sure. But the broad smile on their face and the authentic cuisines which changed from one region to another were so Wow! We are always taught to treat guests well, but only in this country do they mean what they say- 'Athithi devobhava'!. 


Back to College, I started afresh. All I had to do was return the smile I got from my batch mates and they were more than happy to help. Friends, happened within no time. Dhanya, a half Punjabi and half Mysorean, who later went to be my best-friend-forever, insisted that I shift base from the hostel to her home. Her family, unlike what I expected, were more than welcoming. Inviting an outsider to stay at your place for 5 years odd wouldn't have been something I would have done. But well, this wasn't me. It was them! Within a few minutes after I stepped into their house, I had turned from 'Deepa' to 'Beti'. So much affection in so less time? Was again another point to be added to my 'What I love about India' list. The bond that Indian families share is one of a kind. They don't just come together at Holidays. They live together, everyday. They share duties and responsibilities, joy and laughter, sorrow and tears with so much ease as though they have a gene in their chromosomes just for this. Relationships weren't as simple as brother and sister or uncle and aunt. It was specific for every kind of it - anna, akka, thangi, thamma, maava, aththe, chikkamma, chikkappa, dhodamma, dhodappa; well, the list continued. And there were different versions of this in different languages too! These little things were what made these relationships so special I guess. As I lived there and it kinda became 'home' for me, the essence of India slowly started to sink in. Festivals followed and the pomp that came with it- prayers, rangolis, sweets, lights, fireworks, colors, was nothing less than a cultural extravaganza. It was only at Deepavali, that I understood the actual meaning of my name. Deepa - A Light to lead the world away from darkness. I couldn't hold my tears when Ajji said, 'When you become a Doctor, you shall treat the sick and lead them into the light of health from the darkness of disease.' Well, maybe 20 years ago, my parents thought so too!

At college, I fared nothing less than 'great'. Though I had initially frowned upon my Parents' decision of getting me here, now I was thankful to them for the same with all my heart. I started learning the languages too and ended up mixing Hindi and Kannada with English. My friends were the best language tutors I could bargain for. The first line they taught me in Hindi was, "main tumse pyaar karthi hoon", supposedly meaning, 'how r u?'! Seriously? Wonder what was 'I love you' then! The Nurses at the Hospital, addressed as 'Sisters' and 'Brothers', were a sweet bunch to work with. Every morning, they would greet me with a 'thindi aaytha?' (meaning 'had breakfast?' in Kannada) and I would fluently reply 'aaythu'. From being an almost-firangi who couldn't pronounce a patient's name if it was Savithramma, I went on to be able to explain the risks, benefits and procedure of a surgery to a patient. And all that, in Kannada! 

Within no time, the 5.5 years passed by. When we Graduated and were administered the Hippocrates Oath, I had two families by my side - my biological one and the other, who made me one among themselves for the past 5.5 years. As friends parted ways after promising each other a million times to be in touch, Dhanya's wedding happened and it was indeed a Big Fat Indian Wedding. The Rokah, Sagaai, Sangeeth, Mehendi, the music, dance, joy,friends and family, celebrations,Baarath and the final Phere and Mangalsutra; the whole journey was amazing.It was Culture at its peak. It made me tell myself, 'It happens only in India'.

India is rich. India is glorious. India has so much treasure in itself, that the more you experience, the more is left to explore. India has something to offer to everyone who come here, be it oldies or youngsters. Tourists and the like have amazing experiences here and come back for more. For me, it had helped me realise my roots. I was way more Indian and less ABCD.  With Utmost satisfaction and at the same time, a heavy heart to leave the country, I stopped my tears and boarded my flight to San Francisco. For reasons, obligations and other perspectives, I had to return to the US, at least for then. Today, on the August 15th, the Independence day, far away from India at St.Mark's Hospital in San Francisco, I sat in my office staring at the miniature India Flag on my table. Memories raced through my mind as though it were happening right in front of my eyes. I was just telling myself, 'India is indeed incredible', and there was a knock on my door. It was turn for me to see my next Patient. As he walked in, as destiny would have maybe wanted it, I noticed that he happened to be an elderly Sardarji! Well, I couldn't help, but stand up and great him with, 'Satsriyakaal Papaji'.

Until the next story,

Chandana Shekar

Count Your Blessings

"Life is so exhausting!", I thought. Work seemed to have its own pace, slower than a freaking snail. Love life either vacant or a mess. You know those times in life where your brain and heart are totally determined to go in two opposite directions? Oh ask me more about it! The mid-twenties-crisis? Oh, ask me still more!My friends are either getting promoted, married or having kids, and I have annoying relatives asking me in their more annoying tone about my wedding plans, aarrggh!!

Then as I sat by my window sipping my cuppa, I did some soul-searching. And my day seemed brighter all of a sudden. That's because I realised that my life seems almost perfect(touch wood though). First of all, I love who 'I' am. I have a loving family who are just right for me. I have credit cards and the bill gets taken care of. I'm a Doctor and the journey to be an Attending is so far so good. I can play music, I can cook, I can write too. I have friends who I can call up to chat at 2 am because I am bored. The same friends who say 'Shut up and study' when I have my lazy days. I've been a part of a crazy gang in college. I've loved. I've had heartbreaks. I've had crushes, which I fortunately-unfortunately got over as soon as I talked to them! I've travelled to my dream destination and have made friends during the journey. I've lived alone in a new city, lived in a perfect neighbourhood, got locked out of the house at 4 am, partied hard at the most happening places, had slumber night-outs and travelled to the heart of the city for work every single day! I've known the rules and have had fun breaking them too.

So it's okay that I haven't got into post graduation 'yet'. Atleast I'm chasing my dreams and I'm almost there. I know I will be happy doing what I do at work for the rest of my life. It's totally okay that I'm 26 and single and not on a matrimonial website yet. It's okay that I don't get to put up facebook statuses like 'Thanks my dear husband' after I succeed in something. No offence but,  its fun being successful when you're single. especially when you've earned it with your sweat and blood. You're so hot and happening and you feel like the world is your playground. It's fun to guess who would be that lucky guy, who would be by you at your graduation party a couple of years from now. I'm sure it's gonna be worth the wait.

So what if life is messy at times. So what if that guy you have a crush on hardly tells you a hi. So what if that other guy, 'Mr-almost-perfect' asked you out on a date, but 'geography' won't let you go. So what if exam and its results are due. So what if everything is uncertain. How much ever scary or shitty it seems, hope for the best is all you can do. And hope is a wonderful thing. As they say, 'If you believe in miracles, you're bound to find one'. At the end of the day, the journey does matter, not just the destination.  Everything happens for a reason. And as Mom says, 'If not for sorrows, you wouldn't value joy'.

So, as long as you've got a career, a weekend life, family, friends and if you've ever had 'atleast' one guy tell you that he would fight the world to have you as his girl, you've got a life. You've got the independence to dance to your own music for some more time , until that special someone comes your way and joins in. A lot of people your age who stuck to rules are so jealous of your life right now. So if you're sailing in the same boat as I am, Count your Blessings, and Smile. You're worth it.


I have jam packed days right now and will be backpacking soon. It's gonna be an adventure sure and  I'm so looking forward to it. To Success, Fun and Love.

Cheers,
Chandana C.Shekar

Crpytic.

All my life, Crossword puzzles have been on my list of fav time-pass things. Crosswords clues come in two sets-easy and cryptic. I, like any other back-bencher would choose the easy set. But the word 'cryptic' got etched into my mind. Cryptic-A mysterious word meaning mystery. There was something attractive about that word.

This evening, when I sit with my cuppa and stare at nowhere with thoughts floating on my mind, I wonder about this word again. I wonder whether its for the good or bad that it exists? Its good that it exists because it keeps you wondering about something mysterious, kindles your creative grey cells and makes you spin a story around it. Bad because, man! we already have hell a lot of confusions in life. Who the hell needs another one now? Why cant we keep it simple silly?

Things have been cryptic since the time our developmental milestones starting developing. "Where the hell did I land up?!", I'm sure that question would have popped in all our Einstein-brains the day our Apgar score was recorded.Our first cryptic puzzle!. Six months down the lane, the 'mechanism' by which the rattle made the sound was cryptic.Why weren't we taken to pre-school when the moon was up? Why were we dressed as flowers and birds for the school play? Why was I supposed to study how many wives a  particular king had centuries ago? Why was my high-school uniform skirt 'supposed' to be as long as my legs went? Why would that lady in XXL sized jogging clothes stare at me when I rode pillion on a guy's bike?Why did the professors have their pride ride high on the assumption that they were Hitler's kin? Why did all the exams start immediately after a weekend?Who is that insane moron who deserves to be lynched for introducing post-graduation courses? Best of all, what the hell on earth does marriage 'actually' mean? Phew! My head is off for a spin now!

Cryptic. Mystery. Leaves you wondering at times, and admiring it at times. But one thing happens always - you end up confused. Happens all the time. In everyday life. Wanna check? Haven't you ever had question marks about the umpteen things in life? Like, What your colleagues have judged you as is cryptic. Why do people around you give you that look is cryptic.What does your friend's facebook status actually mean is cryptic. Will the money in your wallet be enough to ask her on a date? Cryptic. Are you one on his list of girls or his only girl? Cryptic. Why do sweet surprises happen? Why does a bad day turn up?  Cryptic. Relationships? Venus v/s Mars? Cryptic. Cryptic-Mystery-Cryptic-Mystery! Oh God!.. Oh yeah, why do we say 'Oh God' when you-know-what? Lol. Cryptic buddy!!

In my earlier article Crossroads, I had written, "We just assume destiny's moves and play along". Damn, I hate contradicting myself, but can we really assume destiny's moves? When we can't guess when our own
kadoos boss will fire us, can we really guess big-boss-destiny's plans? Nah. Destiny is an unsolved mystery, Period! At times, its showers flowers on us. But at times, gives us things we can't accept and when we least expect it. Reality bites and the wound stays for long. Questions make their own list. Why did bad stuff happen in the first place? Why us? Why so soon? Well, that whole thing is cryptic. The more you try to solve the mystery, the more you get stuck in an emotional whirlpool. All that you can do is to have loved ones around to lend you a shoulder, stay strong, do what has to be done, hope for the best and move on.Time shall take best care of the rest. Afterall, everything heals with time.

Haaye, hamaari cryptic zindagi! What else can I say about it? They say there should be something mysterious about a girl for her to seem interesting. Well, in that case, Destiny surely is a moody-super-bitch!.

Chill well this weekend,
Chandana C. Shekar

Crossroads.

As I shifted to the new place which is supposed to serve as my abode for the next few months, I carefully took a mental note of the address it was at. But nevertheless, when I was returning the next day, I got lost at a crossroad, whether to take a left there or to keep going straight. Then did I realise the answer to a question that was chewing away my grey mater as though it was gum, that when the roads have been landmarked with boards and we still wonder which way to go at a crossroad, whats the big deal if we get confused which path to take when we get stuck at life's crossroads?

Crossroads are an imaginary-yet-no-so-imaginary place in life where almost every twenty-something guy or girl gets lost at some point of time.You may get tired weighing the pros and cons, but you may still not decide which path to take. Exhausted and worn out, mentally and physically; in need of antidepressants; what the hell, and what not? You may say a thousand things to describe that phase, but the summary is just the same. You may feel that your life is going through a grey phase, but that's okay. Grey is not a color to stay forever. It shall soon fade and sunshine shall set in, sooner or later.

Dilemmas are bound to happen and life is bound to appear twisted. You may wish you had never grown up, but you can't avoid the inevitable. Decisions are to be made and many a times, they are definitely hard to make. Maybe your kith and kin wouldn't approve of your decision. But that's still not a problem. They are afterall, the convincable lot.Once you get them to trust your decision, they are gonna stay by you, come what may. Your companions may not go with you.Yet that's not something you can do anything about. Sort your own life first. Everything shall fall into place by itself after that. You may even take the wrong path. Don't panic. There are U-turns in life's paths too. Just make sure you turn around before you run out of fuel.It's always better late than never.

 Destiny never gives anybody a blueprint of his future. We just assume destiny's moves and play along. But one thing almost always happens. Your best plans may get peppered with flaws. You may have to replan, and replan again. And you no option than being ready for the same. Even though it seems like you're the only one to whom life is so unfair, even though you wish you never had options to choose from, chill. That cool dude sitting next to you or that lass in high heels walking in front of you would have gone through the same thing too. It's just that you weren't an audience to their display of confusions.Now that its your turn, you can't sit idle.Take calculated risks, trust your instincts, be weirdly confident, and take your first step. Have patience and let time do the rest. And the dots shall surely connect.

Now if  you wanna totally take the thought off your head for a while and go carefree, or if this thingy doesn't apply to you, that's great! What are you waiting for? This is a city where places like The Skyye Lounge exist. Hire a cab to 560001, and PARTY THE NIGHT AWAY!! ;)

Cheers,
Chandana C Shekar

Turning Three :)

When you like your neighborhood,
When you're comfy with your transit,
When you're fine with your workplace,
And glad about the people around you,
You know one thing for sure-
You took the right turn at the crossroad..
And life's good.. :)


P.S.: Its been three years since 'The World Around Me' was conceived into this virtual world. :) Thank you all you guys for being so supportive and reading (and yawning) my write-ups. :) Love you all.. :)

Cheers,
Chandana C Shekar

To Happiness, Always..

On the drive, On the go.. Life seems to take its own turns and curves and you just drive along. Not just so that you don't lose track, but also because you don't have another option. Everybody has a destination,and a journey to make to reach that point. Not that everybody's destination is the same, but maybe the road is, atleast for a distance. Maybe that's why lives of people around us overlap with ours. We take different paths when our lives need to go different ways and then, we meet new people, new travellers. People change, but memories stay. And sometimes we wish those good old times happen again.

In pursuit of a career, people move from one place to another at times. They move out of their comfort zone, in which they've been since ages and go to a new City. In most cases, this happens with leaving family and friends behind and feeling lonely at one point or the other. They get along with new people, get along with house hunting and finding out grocery shops nearby and maybe, a new mode of transport too. They expect a few problems to crop up and expect to count on a few people there. Maybe it ends up happening that way or maybe the other way round. Everything is just an insecurity, just a gamble.

But the strong we, don't just give up. We persuade the dream that doesn't let us sleep. We get through the tunnels to get to the shore we've always dreamt of being on. Even though we go through the phase of struggle complaining and missing our old luxurious life, we run from pillar to post to make this part comfortable for the least. We know this is what we need to do if we want to be happy a decade later.

Then, by the time we solve our problems and get on with the speed that life takes us, its already time for the next phase of life. Maybe time to leave for a new City. And its only then that we realise, that even throughout this phase of life, which we had labelled as 'difficult' and in this city which we never called ours, we had made friends. We had managed to have nice times and those times had created memories. Only then is when we realise that there are a few more photos to go on the wall.

Every coin has two sides and every cloud sure has a silver lining. If we just realise this during the period of darkness and laugh off the problems, if we just manage to reduce the wrinkles on our forehead by not letting unnecessary things bother us; if we just live and let live, maybe then we shall have the time to actually 'Live' the days we have, even during that 'struggling' period of life. After all, its a part of your twenties perhaps and that age has happiness also sanctioned with it. Its just on us, whether we look for it and use it or not. Maybe this city had treated us bad and asked too much of us to start with. But sooner or later, like most arranged marriages, it would have accepted us. Both for our good and bad. And we too, in one way or the other, would have associated ourselves with it. Maybe life would take us to a new city then, to show that its got control over us. And then, the least thing we would want to do.,..is to repent not having enjoyed our time spent here.

So wherever you are, look for happiness. Its all around... Every single day gets with it a lot of sunshine. Its for you to take your cup of it.


Loads of love,
Dr. Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up Thoughts #21

We tend to go with our heart, over our mind. Why don't we realise that its the brain where the centres of thought are located!

Until very soon,
Dr. Chandana C. Shekar

Nostalgia Revisited

"Nostalgia". Have been living with this word for quite a few months now. It started just before my Internship got over. College life of five and a half years came to end and everybody parted ways, with promises of keeping in touch in one way or the other. Thanks to facebook and free sms packages, few friends still do keep in touch. However, no means of communication matches the company spent in person.

One of my friend D left Mysore last week. Again, it was going away of a friend for six years. She, and two more friends - S and S shared a room in the Hostel. Me and another friend who were localites were found at that room very often. There were n number of times when Mom called asking, "Where are you?" and the answer was invariably "Hostel"; even though I was elsewhere at times, because I knew saying 'hostel' would be safe! We discussed crushes and gossips there, slept in the afternoon and missed classes, had those late night combined study sessions during exams, prepared Maggi which took ages to cook on that electric stove, slept the night over when we got late roaming outside and it was past the curfew at home and so on. We've shared laughter and tears, success and failure in that very room. Six years of all that, and now its all over. I can never go to that Hostel again, and never can I answer my Mom's question about where I am as 'hostel'.

Just the day before D left, we friends had gone out on a drive. A friend A got a call from home and he went, "Shh!! Call from home." And everybody went silent. We've done so much of that all this while and now, that's over too. One reason is that we are getting older (??), more responsible and hence parents won't bother. One more is that everybody is getting busy with their lives, trying to make a career or getting married. Nobody has time to loaf around and hence, this situation won't arise in the first place!!

Yesterday I and a friend S were chatting. The topic of conversation shifted to Marriages. He said, "There is still time. Look for a guy who can get you a Management quota Post Graduation seat and get married. Enjoy life till June 2011 and then start your Pg life". No surprises, Me the rebel, started talking about 'Compatibility' and how funny a few arranged marriages are and the business proposals that go with it. My friend thought it looked like I would get into a Love marriage and said so. The conversation continued and I said, "Arre yaar, If I want to get into a Love marriage and my parents don't agree, aur main bhaagke registered marriage karoon, tum please witness banke sign karna." And He said,"Tu chinta math kar yaar.Main tumhaara Bhai banke tumhaari shaadi karvaaonga". And then both of us burst into a laughter. The Dulhan is here. Dulhan ka Bhai is ready. Now where on earth is the Dulha?? One fine day when I get married, such thoughts and comments and conversations will also cease and turn into nostalgia. What would we talk about then? The gifts to get at baby-shower??

Life's been just books and books nowadays. Whether I 'actually' study or not, top most priority now is books. Everybody's got busy studying and hardly anybody calls or messages, forget meet anybody. I have two friends -T and S. We message each other at night so that we have some company to keep us awake, which is very difficult with those fatso books in front of us. The sms conversations we have everyday are very typical. Its always like - "Hey, sup?"  .."Studying ya. You?" .. "Same da. How's it going?" .. "Bad. Yours?" .. "Pathetic. how many questions?" .. "60. You?" .. "Arre don't ask. Im sick n tired. What bakwass is this..." and on and on. But thinking in the sense of nostalgia, maybe one fine when we all get our Post Graduation admissions done and shall be pursuing our courses, maybe we shall miss this part too. Maybe not the frustration we have now, but maybe the pleasure of waking up at our own time, not worrying to dress up, mom making coffee for us more than a couple of times a day, ghar ka khaana and maybe these conversations. Pre-PG life is the worst phase of a Medico's life. With all the frustrations and insecurities, the friends who give us company through this journey sure make the tiring journey easier, even though its a wee bit.

Well anyways, I want this Pre-PG life to get over soon. And like all other souls who are sailing in the same boat as I am, I too want a happy ending to this.

Until next time,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up Thoughts #20

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"The Heart always wants what it wants. But with time, the Heart too learns what not to want."

Cheers,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up Thoughts #19

"Nobody knows you better than yourself. God just knows you the best."

Until next time,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up Thoughts #18

This post's a bit long for my 'Slap-up Thoughts' norm.

In my previous post, I had talked about these pages with one-liners that you 'Like' on facebook. Came across one more. It said, "I trusted you, my mistake.". Well, I have a different opinion here.

I trusted you. That's the norm and basis of a relationship. You knew I trusted you, and you let me do it. You knew you would break it one day and you knew that would hurt me. You could have told me that you weren't worth it and I wouldn't have trusted you. So it's your mistake. Maybe you are stone hearted, maybe you were having fun, maybe the gene in you functions that way. Yet, all that is 'you'. So whatever happened, was 'your' mistake.

Until next time,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up Thoughts #17

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"You deserve to get what you give the World. Be it good or bad.Whether You want it or not."

Until next time,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up Thoughts #16

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"Sooner or later, Life has the same lessons for one and all."

p.s.-The August Volume of N-Zine is now available. Check it out. I wrote too (Gosh, I never get tired of showing off ;) ). A story this time called "Firangi Desi". Have a read people . Thank you :)

Until next time,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up Thoughts #15

"I wanted 'Perfect'. But all I needed was 'Compatible' "

Bit busy these days,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up thoughts #14

"Love is a song that never ends. It's just us, who stop dancing."

Cheers,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up thoughts #13

"Falling for a wrong person isn't a mistake. But choosing to stick on for a lifetime is a crime, against yourself."

Was at a discussion forum a couple of months ago. The topic of discussion for that day was arranged marriage v/s love marriage. Obviously, the older citizens were arguing for arranged marriages and the youth differed from them. Then, this happened..

Uncle: "If you people say love marriages are safe, then why is that the divorce rates have gone high nowadays? It was never this high in our days when the majority were arranged marriages."
A friend: "That's because we atleast have the guts to walk out of unhappy marriages. And we are proud of it."

Very well said. Some conversation came up today, and reminded me of this. Relationships..Uff!!

p.s.- After reading the comments that followed, I'm changing the term 'unhappy marriages' in the line above to 'unhappy relationships'. Because that was what was actually on my mind when I put up this post. The quote from the debate was just to go with the thought . :)

Cheers,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up Thoughts #12

"Its fine if you wanna walk out of somebody's life. Just make sure you don't leave questions behind".

Until next time,
Chandana C. Shekar

Slap-up Thoughts #11

"Ups and downs are very much needed ; a flat plateau is never normal. Be it life, or an ECG."


Content with my day today,
Chandana C. Shekar

"Slap- up thoughts #10"

"The ghosts from your past will haunt you until you yourself turn into a ghost; provided, YOU allow them to."

Some memories never seem to fade,
Chandana C. Shekar